Adversity
by AlOlLove
Summary: Without a doubt, Alexandra Cabot was the most talented ADA that SVU had ever had. She was smart, sophisticated, and a whirlwind in court. But did her private life live up to her professional one? Detective Olivia Benson thought she detected a hidden vulnerability. FEMSLASH eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**3.20am**

"At last," Elliot grumbled, as Olivia approached the car. It was a cold, miserable night, and he had not enjoyed his four-hour shift in their latest stake-out.

"I'm ten minutes early," Olivia reminded him, mildly. "Anything?"

"No. And nothing likely," Elliot said. "I don't know why we're doing this."

"We're doing this because if he breaks his curfew, we can lock him up – at last," Olivia said. She was in no mood to discuss it with Elliot. She just wanted to get her four hours over and done with. "I'll see you later," she said, as she took his place in the driving seat.

The car was cold, and Olivia had no faith that her vigil would be productive. She hoped the bakery would open early, so she could get a coffee to help while away the hours. At least she was in safe part of town; she was parked up on the side street just by the DA's offices. Maybe, she mused, she'd see the delicious Alex Cabot heading into work later. She knew Alex was a hard worker – in fact, she had never known her _not_ to be in the office whenever she had called her in the morning for a warrant, or for advice.

By 5.30am, Olivia was thoroughly fed up. She was cold, miserable and uncharacteristically grumpy. She knew instinctively that their man wasn't going anywhere, not that night anyway. She was just stifling a large yawn when she saw movement. But it wasn't their perp. Olivia was astounded to see Alex Cabot, striding down the street. She was casually dressed, and carried a small holdall as well as a garment bag. Her blonde hair was thrown casually into a bun, and she appeared to be free of make-up.

Olivia nearly called out to the ADA, but knew that it would make a mockery of her surveillance. Also, there was something in the posture of the younger woman – some tension – that made her realize that Alex was not in the mood to chat.

Olivia pondered what Alex could possibly be doing. Her office was, literally, around the corner. So she must have come from there? But why would she be doing that? If she had pulled an all-nighter – and surely Olivia would have know about that, Alex worked only for SVU – then why would she be wearing jeans as she left the office? And what was she carrying?

Olivia couldn't work out what was going on. Her mind conjured up a range of scenarios, all of them unlikely. But, as she continued to ponder, she saw the last thing she expected. Alex Cabot, on her way back from wherever she had been. But this time she was back in 'work' mode. She had on the blue suit that Olivia liked so much, her hair was nicely styled, and her make-up had been carefully applied. The only break with formality was the sneakers she wore on her feet, but Olivia just knew that she would have her trademark heels somewhere close by.

The detective looked at her watch. 6.45am. Well, that kinda made sense. She knew Alex liked to start work early, and was always in the office before everyone else. As Alex walked past her car, but on the other side of the street, Olivia looked closely at her. She looked tired, and strained, her jaw set in a determined line.

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**4.15pm**

"C'mon, detective," Alex said, impatience creeping into her voice. "You know I need probable cause. You can argue with me all you want, but there's no judge in the city who would sign this warrant."

Olivia opened her mouth to argue, and then shut it again. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew Alex was right, but she just _knew_ the perp was guilty, and if they could just get in his trailer, she knew they would find his stack of videos. She nodded, and turned to leave.

Alex saw the sudden change in demeanor and realized, with relief, that Olivia wasn't going to chew her out like Stabler would. She wasn't as bull-headed as he was, and she knew that it was beyond Alex's control.

As she reached the door, Olivia heard Alex say, in a much softer voice this time, "I'm sorry. I really am."

She turned, and gave the attorney a tired smile.

"You look exhausted," Alex said. "I was just going to have coffee. Let me pour you some, huh?"

Olivia was going to refuse, but she sensed a hitherto-unknown touch of kindness in Alex's voice. And it was an overture. Maybe not of friendship, perhaps, but at least of _friendliness_. And Olivia had few close friends, feeling that sharing the stresses of her career was a burden, and that it wasn't fair to impose that on civilians. But Alex dealt with the same cases, albeit from a courtroom. She saw the photographs, even if she didn't often have to deal with the crime scene.

Olivia nodded. "That'd be great."

"What time did you start work this morning?" Alex said gently, as she passed her a steaming cup.

"I left the apartment at just after 3am," Olivia replied with a grimace. "Early morning stakeout."

"So time to go home and get some rest?" Alex suggested, with a smile.

Olivia gave a hollow laugh. "I wish," she said. "My paperwork's piled up. I gotta get that done before I can think of leaving." She looked more closely at Alex. "I'm betting I'm not the only one," she smiled, "don't tell me the great Alexandra Cabot is a nine-to-five girl."

Alex smiled. "You got me."

Olivia finished her coffee, and stood to leave. "This was nice. Thank you."

Alex nodded agreement. "We all need a break sometimes," she said, softly.

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The next two days passed in a whirlwind. Thanks to the testimony of one of the victims, Alex was able to get the detectives the warrant they needed, and the search of his trailer revealed a whole collection of incriminating material. So it was late that Wednesday night that Olivia headed back home. On impulse, she took a detour past 1 Hogan Place, and looked up at Alex's office window. There was a light still on, and Olivia could see a shadowy figure pass past the window. She would recognize that silhouette anywhere. Glancing at her watch, Olivia saw that it was 1.15am. Just what in the hell was Alex playing at? Nobody could do those sorts of hours without burning out.

She was tempted to go up to Alex's office and pound on the door, and instruct her to go home. But they had only just started a tenuous friendship, and she didn't want to jeopardize that. And Alex must have her reasons. Olivia made a mental note to keep a watchful eye on her friend.

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"Ball-buster," Elliot grumbled disconsolately as he returned to the office. "I mean, where the hell does she get off? Why does she get to decide when a warrant is necessary?"

"She's our ADA," Olivia tried to keep her temper. "And she works real hard for us. Maybe sometimes you should remember that. There's no point in her saying yes when she no judge in their right mind is going to sign it. That's a waste of everybody's time."

Elliot glared at his partner. "Switched sides, Liv?" he sneered. "I never thought you'd take Cabot's side against me."

"Screw you, Stabler. There aren't any sides in this. All that matters is the victim. And we're wasting time, arguing with Alex when you know fine well she couldn't get a signature if she tried. Let's focus on what we can do, shall we?" Olivia bit back. After an 18-hour day that showed no sign of ending, her head was pounding and she was in no mood to massage her partner's delicate ego.

Captain Cragen emerged from his office just in time to witness the confrontation. "She's right, Elliot," he said. "Let's try and use our time more productively. You go get the results from Warner. And Benson, either go home, or take a couple of hours in the crib."

"Captain, I'm fi...," Olivia started.

"No arguments," Cragen was firm.

Olivia trailed dispiritedly upstairs. She felt she would never sleep, not until they caught the perp. But she surprised herself by sleeping soundly for just over two hours, awaking much refreshed, and ready to face a further six hours at her desk.

It was nearly 1am by the time Olivia set off home. It had become a habit to take a detour on the way home, and she was pleasantly surprised to see no light on in Alex's office. But wait, wasn't that Alex leaving the building? She slowed her car, and saw Alex heft a bag on to her shoulder and stride off down the street. Again, she was casually dressed, this time with a thick winter coat to ward off the increasingly cold weather.

Olivia observed her closely. She looked shattered, lines of tiredness on her face. If Alex had been less tired, she would probably have noticed Olivia tailing her, but she didn't seem to be paying any attention.

Alex walked for nearly 20 minutes, eventually turning into an all-night laundromat. Olivia couldn't have been more surprised. She parked on the other side of the street, and watched as her colleague – friend? – sorted through what appeared to be a bag of laundry, and loaded it into two different machines with practiced ease.

Olivia watched her, fascinated. Once the clothes were whirring around, the blonde attorney settled herself in an uncomfortable plastic chair, and took out a book. Olivia continued her surveillance, and her heart almost broke as she saw the exhausted look on Alex's face. Twice her head jerked as she struggled to stay awake until her clothes were ready.

Olivia could take it no longer. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew that her friend was in trouble.

Alex didn't even look up as the door to the laundromat opened. It was only when Olivia sat next to her that she saw who had come in. All color drained from her face.

Olivia put her hand gently over Alex's. "Alex?" her voice was laced with worry. "What is this? Are you okay?"

Alex looked at Olivia's face, ready to bullshit, to manufacture some reason she was there at that time. But she saw her open, honest expression, and the genuine concern in her eyes, and she couldn't lie to her. "I'm just doing my laundry," Alex's voice was hoarse.

Olivia didn't speak. She just waited for her to continue.

Alex looked directly into her eyes. "Have you been following me?"

"Just tonight," Olivia admitted.

"But you've guessed. You know I'm living in the office."

"But _why_?" Olivia's voice was so gentle that Alex wanted to cry.

"I'm broke, Detective Benson. I'm flat broke."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia was startled. Had Alex just said that? Could the smart, sophisticated, well-bred Alexandra Cabot be broke? Was it possible? But she just had to look into Alex's eyes to know that she was telling the truth.

"How?" she asked, softly.

Alex blinked, trying to keep a hold of herself. "It's complicated," she said eventually. "I...," she was interrupted by the beeping of a machine, indicating that the wash cycle had completed. She looked up at Olivia. "I … it's just ..."

Olivia squeezed her fingers, only then realizing how cold they were. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me now. You don't ever have to tell me, not if you don't want to." She looked closely at the shattered woman. "When did you last sleep? Properly, I mean?"

Alex opened her mouth to speak, and then shut it again. She shrugged.

The second washing machine beeped.

Olivia made a decision. "Right now, you need sleep most of all. You're coming home with me."

"No, it's okay. There's no need. I'll be..."

"It wasn't a suggestion, counselor," Olivia spoke gently. "You don't have a choice here. You _are_ coming home with me. I'll make up the guest bed. C'mon."

"I haven't finished my laundry," Alex said, stubbornly, half of her praying that Olivia would just leave.

"It's all washed. We'll take it back and put it in my dryer. I meant what I said about there being no choice. Look at you, Alex. You're shattered. You're making yourself sick. Another week of this, and it's gonna be obvious to everyone. So what do you say? A warm bed, huh?" she squeezed her hand affectionately. She hated to see the utter devastation in Alex's face. Alex was so proud, so put-together. Olivia knew that her pride was hurting. But she also knew that she couldn't leave her here.

"Maybe for just one night," Alex wavered.

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Alex was silent during the 15-minute car journey. Olivia kept quiet too, not wanting to startle her. She could see how fragile she was, how desperately she was trying to keep herself together. She snuck a glance at her face. How long had she been in this predicament? What could possibly have caused it? As far as she knew, Alex didn't have a drinking or a gambling problem. But that was it, Olivia realized. _As far as she knew. _ She didn't know. She barely knew Alexandra Cabot. They had begun a tentative friendship, which Olivia held dear. But she knew next to nothing about her, beyond her professional life and her fondness for Bach. She knew she had a sharp sense of humor, and she was learning that, under the sometimes-icy façade, she had a kind heart. But more than that? Nothing.

Olivia parked her car underneath the building. She took the heavy bag of laundry out of the car, as Alex slowly exited the passenger seat. She looked dazed – almost as if she were in shock.

Olivia was grateful that, for once, the elevator was working. She wasn't sure that Alex was up to stairs right now.

Once in the apartment, Olivia pushed Alex on to the couch. She wrapped a warm blanket around her shoulders, worried at the attorney's apparent docility. A few minutes later, she pressed a mug of warm, sweet tea into Alex's hands. "I'm just gonna make up your bed. I'll be right back."

Alex nodded, though Olivia wasn't convinced she had understood a word.

Olivia went to the utility room and loaded Alex's wet laundry into the dryer. She then made up the bed in the guest room, embarrassed by the stack of boxes by the far wall. She had been meaning to clear those up for months. She would do it tomorrow. The weekend was always a good time for sorting out.

When she returned to the living room, Alex was still holding the tea, but didn't appear to have drunk any of it. Olivia sat by her side on the couch. "Drink," she said gently. Alex looked at her. "It's okay," Olivia said. "Drink up. Are you hungry?"

Alex took a sip of the tea, grateful as it warmed her gullet. "No," she said. "Not hungry."

"Well once you've finished that, you should go to bed. There's only one bathroom, I'm afraid, we'll have to share it."

Alex stared at her, barely comprehending her words. She forced herself to pay attention. "I left my toothbrush and stuff at the office," she said. "And my pajamas."

"I can find you a new toothbrush. And you can help yourself to anything you need in the bathroom. You should find most things there. There are clean towels on your bed. And I'll find you something to wear."

Alex nodded. "You're being very kind," she tried to make her voice stronger.

Olivia smiled at her. "It's nice to have you here," she told her, honestly.

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Alex fingered the flannel pajamas that Olivia had put on the bed for her. She brought them to her face, inhaling the inimitable scent of Olivia – sandalwood, soap and something else. She shook herself. Her colleague – friend – was just being kind to her. At the time of her greatest humiliation, Olivia had gently offered her help. She hadn't asked for anything in return – not even an explanation. But Alex couldn't let her attraction to the exotic detective surface now. She had hoped, one day, that they would be in and out of each other's apartments, as friends. Maybe more. But not like this. This was awful. Olivia had taken pity on her, and pity was the worst. But right now, Alex was too tired to care.

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Olivia awoke just after 8am the next morning, still a little tired. By the time she had gotten Alex home, and fixed things up, it had been after 2.30am that they had got to bed. But she heard a noise, and realized Alex was in the shower. She lay there, wondering why the blonde – who, by rights, should probably sleep all weekend – was up and about.

Olivia gave it ten minutes, and then shrugged on her robe. She surprised Alex, who was just writing a note. She read the first few words.

"No," Olivia said softly. "You can't go." She reached out to touch Alex's arm, but Alex pulled away.

"You've been so kind already," Alex hated that her voice shook. "But I'm fine. I'll get out of your hair. I'll fix something up."

"Alex, stop. I don't know what's happened. And if you don't want to tell me, that's fine. I understand. But you're my friend. My _best_ friend."

Alex looked startled.

"I know we've only started to get to know each other, so that probably sounds crazy. But I don't make friends easily," Olivia told her. "I can't afford to, not in this job. But you understand the job. And I don't have to explain anything to you. Do you have any idea how relaxing it is to be around you? Not to have to explain myself? Not to have to apologize for feeling like crap because I've spent all day with a child who has been abused, and will never be the same again?"

"Olivia, I..."

"No!" Olivia was vehement. "Whatever's happened to you, I'm sorry. More than you can know. But you're my friend," she repeated. "And right now, you have nowhere else to stay. And I have a guest room, with nothing in it except a few boxes I've been meaning to go through for months. So you _are_ going to stay. You are. I know you hate it. I know your pride is hurting. And I'm sorry for that. But, Counselor Cabot, you're just going to have to man up. We all need help sometimes."

Alex blinked. She hadn't expected Olivia to be quite so direct.

"Anyways," Olivia smiled. "It'll be nice for me, to have a roommate."

Alex swallowed, desperately trying to blink away her tears. She knew Olivia was right. She didn't have a choice. "Thank you," her voice was thick with emotion. "I'll be out of here as soon as I can. I'll get myself out of this mess. I won't impose on you any longer than I have to."

"It's not an imposition," Olivia touched her arm, and this time Alex didn't pull away from the contact.

Alex nodded. "Thank you," she said again.

"I have to give you one warning, though," Olivia smiled. "I don't cook. Well, truth be told, I _can't_ cook. I have a lot of take-out."

For the first time, Alex gave a small smile. "Maybe I can cook for you, from time to time."

"The great ADA Cabot cooks?" Olivia teased.

Alex smiled again. "I like to cook. It relaxes me. It'll be nice to have someone to cook for."

Olivia smiled back at her. "You see? I think we're gonna get along real well."


	3. Chapter 3

"We should go to your office. Pick up all your stuff."

"I can do that. I still have my car," Alex said.

"At the office? In the parking lot?"

"Yeah. But I can get the subway there, and..."

"Let's do it together, huh?" Olivia suggested. "Let me drive you there. I'd enjoy the company. And we'll get it done faster, with two of us."

Alex nodded, realizing that, in fact, her car was already full of her belongings. The trunk was rammed, so it would be a great help to have Olivia's car too.

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It took a while to bring everything up to Olivia's apartment, but the detective was still surprised at how comparatively little the ADA had. Apart from her work clothes, it seemed she was living on the bare minimum, in all respects.

Alex saw Olivia eyeing up her small stash of belongings, and took a deep breath. She owed her an explanation, if nothing else. "I do have some other stuff. It's still at my old apartment. I sold the apartment to my … former partner. Yes," she gave a hollow laugh. "Among the many aspects of my life that I have screwed up, is my relationship. Probably the best relationship I have ever had. Charlie was kind though. Said I could leave things there, until I … until," she inhaled sharply.

"You don't have to do this, Alex," Olivia said softly. "You don't have to tell me."

"I want to tell you," Alex surprised herself by realizing that was true. She'd been trying so hard to hide her sudden slide from affluence, and now she knew she had nothing to lose. God alone knew what Olivia was thinking – what she had been imagining. But however bad it was, Olivia was still offering her help, and seemingly without any judgement.

"Let's sit," Olivia suggested, settling herself in the armchair while Alex took the couch.

Alex took a deep breath. "It's not a great drama. It's … it's just one of those things. It's kind of a long story."

"I have all the time in the world," Olivia said softly.

Alex nodded. "Okay," she said. "I need to go back quite a long way, for it to make sense. I was 12 when my parents divorced. I've always been closer to my Dad. Mom … well," Alex snorted, derisively. "Let's just say Mom is not my greatest fan. We don't speak any more. She took Dad for every last cent when they divorced, and he didn't bother to argue. He was a wonderful man, but sometimes … he could be weak. And he became a little too interested in drink."

Olivia stiffened slightly. She knew only too well what it was like, to have a parent in the thrall of alcohol. Her mother still drank to excess regularly, and nothing Olivia had said or done had ever been able to change that.

"He wasn't too bad. I don't think he was really an alcoholic. But he let things go. He had to sell his house ten years ago. But the apartment he rented was nice, and I visited all the time. It was better when I went earlier in the day, before he had opened the bourbon, but it was always nice. He was a good dad, you know?"

Olivia nodded, though she didn't know. She had no idea whatsoever what it was like to have a good dad.

"He loved me," Alex continued. "Whatever I did, whatever I said, he was always on my side. He made me feel good about myself. About my choices. And when I got the job at the DA's office, he nearly exploded with pride. But," she tried not to let her voice waver. "By then he was already sick. And of course he had no insurance. So I had to help. I wanted to help," she said. "And you wouldn't believe how expensive good medical care can be. I was so desperate not to lose him, we tried everything. All sorts of experimental treatments. I spent all my spare time with him too. I was a horrible girlfriend. Charlie tried to understand, but I was just never there. So we broke up. But Charlie was kind, bought me out of the apartment, let me leave some of my stuff there. Even said I could use the address for my post to be delivered, until I got somewhere decent to live."

"And you moved into the office?" Olivia asked.

Alex shook her head. "Not right away. I rented a studio apartment. It wasn't in a nice part of town, but it was okay."

"Whereabouts?"

Alex looked embarrassed. "South Bronx," she steeled herself for Olivia's reaction, but Olivia forced herself not to say anything. Alex took a deep breath. "It was all I could afford," she admitted, in a small voice.

"But you left?"

Alex couldn't meet her gaze. "It was condemned three months ago," she said after a beat.

"And since then you've been living in the office?"

"And my car, sometimes. That's why I couldn't sell it."

"And your Dad?" Olivia enquired gently. Her heart broke for her friend, who had suffered so enormously – all, it seemed, in silence, with nobody to support her.

"It was a long illness. And we had to try everything we could. But he died six months ago. I miss him every day."

"And you spent all your money on his treatment?" Olivia was shocked.

Alex nodded. "And more. I'm in debt, Olivia. Not as much as I was. I'm paying it off as fast as I can. But I still owe 28 grand. So," she took a deep, cleansing breath. "You can see why I haven't been staying in a hotel," she tried to give a small smile.

Olivia couldn't believe how much she had gone through. "And your Mom? Where was she in all this?"

"Fucked if I know," Alex's use of the vulgarity was shocking. She was so articulate and smart, she rarely felt the need to resort to cuss words. "She hated him."

"But what about you? Does she know you lost your apartment? You're her daughter. Surely she'd want to help?"

"She knows. And she doesn't care. I'm a disappointment to her, Olivia. To put it mildly. She told me six years ago she was washing her hands of me, and that's the way it remained. Thank God I got a scholarship, or I'd have had to drop out of college."

"That bad?"

Alex nodded.

"I'm so sorry," Olivia knew her words were inadequate.

"It is what it is," Alex replied.

Olivia leant forward in her seat. "It will be okay, Alex. It _will_. You'll clear your debt. And soon. You'll move somewhere nice. You can pick up the reins of your life again. And you're going to be one of the state's top-earning lawyers. You'll go right to the top, Counselor Cabot. You can put all this behind you. And until then, you're staying here. For as long as you need to. Just don't argue with me," she smiled.

Alex looked over at her. She saw such compassion and honesty in her eyes that she was almost overwhelmed. She meant it. She really did. Maybe, after all, she would be able to get her life back on track. "Thank you," she said softly.

They spent the next hour moving Olivia's old boxes out of Alex's room, and moving Alex's stuff in. The closet was almost empty, with only Olivia's dress uniform in there. Alex smiled at the sight of it. She bet that Olivia looked incredibly hot in that uniform. Olivia didn't notice Alex's expression, she just moved the uniform to the closet in her own room.

Alex had only two pictures, both of her and her father. There was one that had clearly been taken of them together in the last few years, and a second in which a young Alex – surely no more than six years old? – perched atop her father's shoulders. They were both laughing and happy. Olivia's throat constricted when she saw that. She hoped beyond all hope that Alex would one day be that happy again. "Hey," she held out the framed photograph. "How about we put this one in the living room? You look real cute."

"I don't want to clutter up your space," Alex said.

"It's _our_ space now. For as long as you live here. And I'd like to see it out there. It makes me smile. How about it?"

Alex nodded her agreement. "Okay," she felt her heart lighten for the first time in longer than she could remember.

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"Lunch," Olivia declared. "We should get some lunch."

"Let me cook," Alex said. "I'd really like to."

"It's a great idea," Olivia said with a smile. "But there's no food in the house. Unless you want cereal," she smiled.

"I'll go to the market," Alex looked round for her purse. "This kitchen is in serious need of stocking up."

"Let me pay," Olivia tried to pass her her own wallet.

"No way," Alex said, very firmly. "I've been eating out for the last three months, unless you count the occasional meal I've microwaved in the office when nobody was about. This will be much cheaper. Let me, please?"

Olivia nodded. "Okay," she said, with a smile. "I'll go through these old boxes. Most of this stuff can be thrown out I think."

"Is there anything you don't like? Or anything you particularly do like?" Alex asked, as she shrugged on her coat.

Olivia pondered. "Just eggplant. Just can't _stand_ the texture."

"No eggplant then," Alex said with a smile.

"Don't forget these," Olivia put her hand in the drawer, and withdrew the spare keys. "Your keys," she said, firmly.

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After a delicious lunch, Alex stood to clear the plates.

"No," Olivia insisted. "You cooked. I'll clean. Fair's fair. Just try and relax a little. You still look exhausted Alex. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I'm fine," Alex's response was automatic. She hated to think she was a burden to Olivia.

"Okay," Olivia replied softly. She went into the kitchen to clear up, and was startled to see that everything had already been cleaned – it was only their plates and flatware that needed washing. So she was only away from the living room for a few minutes.

She returned to the living room, holding two mugs of hot tea. She held out out to Alex, who took it gratefully. "You didn't have to clear up as you went," Olivia said to her.

"I don't want to make a mess of your apartment. You're so kind to have me here, and ..."

"Stop," Olivia's voice was gentle. "First, for as long as you are here, it's our apartment. It's important to me that you feel at home here. You're not just a guest. This is your home, for as long as you need it to be. And second, I'm enjoying your company. There's no question of me being 'kind'. I'm not taking pity on you Alex. I want you to know that. This is just … serendipity. You needed a place to stay, I happen to have a guest room and an empty social life. It fits. For the moment, this works well for the both of us."

Alex gave a small smile. "Nevertheless, I'm very grateful."

"And you're very tired," Olivia could see the bags under her eyes. "Let's use this weekend to get you well again, so nobody at work needs to find out."

"I'm not sick," Alex protested.

"But you're not _well_, either," Olivia insisted. In truth, she could tell that the trauma Alex had suffered was so much more than physical. "God knows how you managed to get any sleep on that tiny couch. And covering up all the time, that's a terrible strain."

"Clearly I didn't cover up as well as I was hoping," Alex said, as she sipped at her tea. "You didn't take long to work out what was happening."

"That was dumb luck. I was on a stakeout round the corner from your office. And I saw you leaving the office at 5.30am, in jeans. You came back just over an hour later, dressed for work."

Alex nodded. "I kept on my membership at the gym. They're open 24 hours, and I needed somewhere with a good bathroom."

"I thought it must be something like that," Olivia said. "I started driving past your office, on the way home. And your light was always on, however late I left work. I'm sorry. I sound like a stalker. But I was worried for you. And then I saw you going to the laundromat. You couldn't have continued Alex. How much sleep did you get a night? Four hours?"

Alex shrugged. "On a good night." She brightened a little. "I've just realized. I can cancel my gym membership, that'll save me $200 a month. And I can sell my car! That'll make a big difference to the debt. I can survive easily without a car, now I don't need …," she stopped, embarrassed.

"Now you don't need to sleep in it from time to time?" Olivia said, very gently.

"Exactly that," Alex admitted.

"See," Olivia took her now-empty mug from her. "It really will be okay, Alex. You'll get through this. And nobody need know anything. They certainly won't hear it from me. In a few months, this will all be a bad memory. C'mon," she held out her hands, "up you get. You need to sleep, and you're not doing that on the couch. You've done enough of that recently."

Alex allowed her to pull her up from the couch. She was unbelievably tired. She still hated to impose on her friend, but it was starting to look like maybe Olivia was right. She rubbed the back of her neck, and smiled. "It's real nice to be able to lie flat," she admitted. "My neck _really_ doesn't like my office couch. I think maybe I will sleep for a couple of hours."

As Alex shut the bedroom door, a wash of emotion flooded over her. A week ago, she hadn't been able to see any possible solution to her dilemma. She was just trying to deal with it, one day at a time. But Olivia was right. Just the physical toll on her body was starting to drag at her. The worst was that she could never relax – she had to be on her guard the whole time. She had to keep up the façade. Somehow, Olivia had broken through her barriers, something that would have horrified her just a few days before. But, for some reason, she had felt able to let Olivia in, and she hadn't crumbled. Her life hadn't fallen to pieces, as she had expected it would if anyone were to find out. In fact, strangely, she felt stronger than she had since everything had gone so spectacularly wrong.

Olivia smiled as she picked up the photograph of the young Alex on her father's shoulder. She had been a beauty, even then. Olivia was struck with how tenuous life could be. Alex's father was now dead, and she herself had been through the wringer, seemingly with no support. She couldn't understand how Alex could have so 'disappointed' her mother that the woman had cut her out of her life? It was clear that, deep down, Alex was a sweet and caring person. And she was undeniably brilliant, and had achieved so much already in a short career – with so much more yet to come. What could she possibly have done to justify her mother cutting off all contact? And how could any mother watch her child lose her home, and not want to step in?

Maybe one day Alex would tell her, but she was determined not to push for more information than she was ready to reveal. Olivia knew how hard it had been for Alex to admit any vulnerability. She was a proud woman, but had been forced to abandon her pride. So the very least Olivia could do was to allow her her privacy, as much as possible. "It'll be okay," she whispered, as she traced Alex's face on the photograph. "It'll all be okay."


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia got home, to an almost dark apartment. There was a small side lamp on in the living room, but no sign of Alex apart from a strip of light coming from under her bedroom. But there was an unmistakeable smell of cooking, so Alex had clearly made dinner, yet again.

Olivia was grateful to Alex for her culinary skills, but she was beginning to feel guilty that she was cooking every night. Olivia was sure there were some nights when she would rather stay in the office for another hour to finish up, rather than rush home to get the dinner on.

She tapped softly on the bedroom door.

"Hey," Alex called. "Come in."

Olivia looked over, and saw Alex sitting cross-legged on the bed, surrounded by paperwork. She had a pencil behind her ear, and was holding her black-rimmed glasses. "Hi," Alex said. "Did you have a good day at work?"

"It was fine. I've had worse. How about you?"

Alex nodded. "Fine too. Busy. I'm just fixing up a few things here. Dinner will be ready in about 20 minutes."

"And how much more work do you have to do?" Olivia asked gently.

"Another couple of hours should do it," Alex said. "Maybe three."

Olivia approached the bed. "May I?" she indicated the bed. Alex nodded her agreement. Olivia sat on the edge of the bed, making sure to avoid any of the paperwork. "Alex, you don't have to do this. I'm not some bad-tempered husband. You don't have to rush back to get my dinner on the table. If it's easier to stay on at work, and finish up there, you should do that. You should do whatever is easiest for you. I can fix my own dinner. Or _order_ my own dinner," she smiled. "Order for both of us."

"But I wanted it to be nice for you," Alex looked a little hurt.

"And it is. I love it. I love your cooking. You're amazing. Truly. But you mustn't feel obligated. And this can't be the easiest way for you to work," she gestured at the papers, stacked in careful piles all around Alex. "We have the table in the living room. You should use that."

"But that's your dining table," Alex looked appalled.

"And in the six weeks you've been here, have you ever known me to use it as a dining table?" Olivia smiled. "You know I like to eat off a tray on my knee."

"I don't want to spread my stuff all over your place. You've been so kind, letting me stay, I'd hate to get in your way."

Olivia smiled at her. "Alexandra, we've talked about this. You're not in my way, not in the slightest. I'm really loving having you stay here. I hadn't realized how lonesome it was sometimes. Coming home, at the end of the day, and having a friendly face to chat to, it's just so nice. But you walking on eggshells around me, it's not relaxing for you – and it's not for me, either. And if ever anything of yours got in my way, I'm a big girl. I can move it. I like seeing your stuff around. It would make me happy if you could feel more at home here."

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**Saturday morning**

"Have fun," Olivia smiled as Alex headed for the door. Alex had a few errands to run, including picking up her mail from her old apartment, and then she was going to spoil herself with a trip to The Whitney, to immerse herself in some art. With all that had been going on, Alex had really missed having some culture in her life, and she was determined to try and get some of that back. She also wanted to give Olivia some time to herself in the apartment. Despite the detective's insistence that she enjoyed the company, Alex still worried about crowding her.

Olivia waited five minutes after Alex had left, and grabbed her jacket and wallet. She had checked on line, and there was a large stationery warehouse just outside the city, and she had a few things she wanted to buy.

Alex returned early that evening, feeling refreshed and happy. It had been one of those glorious early winter days, when the air was crisp, but the sun was shining, and the city had felt clean and new to her. She had strolled through the city, which she had always loved, feeling at last that life could still be good. Her debts were reducing all the time, and she had managed to sell her car, which had almost halved her remaining debt.

Up until that point, Alex had hated visiting her old apartment. Charlie had insisted that she kept a key, and she only went when she knew the place would be empty. But she had hated going inside, knowing what she had lost, not only in terms of material things, but also the relationship that she had enjoyed. It had never been 'the one great love', at least not from her point of view, but it had been comfortable and warm, and it was nice to have someone to come home to. But today, somehow she didn't mind. She paid little heed to her surroundings as she picked up the small pile of mail. And she left a brief, friendly, note, explaining that she was rooming with a friend, and gave Olivia's address.

She had spent much of the day thinking about Olivia. She had always liked the brunette detective – quite apart from her attraction to her, that she was trying so hard to ignore. She liked the way Olivia dealt with the victims, showing compassion and understanding. But she wasn't just soft. She was like a tigress, always on the side of the victim, always fighting. She didn't care if she made herself unpopular, and it always made Alex smile when she saw Olivia standing up to Elliot.

Elliot wasn't a bad person. In many ways, he was an excellent cop. But he didn't have Olivia's keen intelligence, or her unfailing instincts, and too often he let anger cloud his judgment. He and Olivia were a perfect team in a way, though Alex wondered if it was really fair that it was always Olivia who had to keep him calm, and to moderate his behavior. She guessed that sometimes Olivia wanted to blow up too, but she knew she couldn't, not without putting cases at risk.

As she headed home, Alex saw some beautiful white tulips in the window of a florist's shop and, on impulse, went straight in and bought a dozen of them for Olivia. They were such elegant flowers, yet they seemed strong, upright. Classy. Just like Olivia.

Olivia looked up with pleasure as she heard the key turn in the lock. She looked up from her book and smiled at Alex. Finally, Alex was looking better. She had color in her cheeks, and she seemed properly rested and happy.

Alex smiled back at her. "These are for you," suddenly shy, she passed the flowers to Olivia.

"These are beautiful, Alex," Olivia said. "Thank you so much. I love them," she went into the kitchen to search for a vase.

Alex detected the smell of … cooking. "Does my nose deceive me?" she teased. "Don't tell me you've been cooking?"

Olivia grimaced, and laughed. "Oh God, Alex, it was so funny. I wish you had been here. I decided it was time I should suck it up and learn to cook. It's not fair that you have to make dinner every night. So," she smiled, "I printed a recipe for lasagne off the internet."

"I _love_ lasagne," Alex said.

"I know," Olivia replied, darkly. "And I gotta tell you, counselor, that next time you want it, you're going to have to cook it yourself. I mean, what is it with the white sauce? And then I burned the meat. And then," she held up her bandaged hand with a grin, "I sliced my finger when I was cutting mushrooms. I don't know how you do it. I really don't."

"But it smells great," Alex said. "You managed it!"

"Nuh uh. No such luck. That smell you detect is, indeed, lasagne. Delivered 10 minutes ago from Luigi's. Garlic bread and salad too. I hope you're hungry!"

Alex threw her head back and laughed, a full-throated, happy laugh that filled Olivia with pleasure. All the disasters had been worth it, just to see her friend smiling and happy.

"Before we eat, though," Olivia was suddenly bashful. "Come see this. I've set up a little office for you," she pushed Alex gently toward the large dining table that sat in the corner of the L-shaped room.

On the table was an angled lamp, several filing trays, a large pen cup filled with pens and pencils, a ruler, a stapler, a pot filled with paper clips, and much more. A large, leather blotter sat in the middle of the table. "I thought you could put your laptop here, and the printer in the corner. What do you think?"

Alex was overwhelmed. "This is … perfect," she whispered. She was going to protest about taking up too much of Olivia's space, but she could see that Olivia was genuinely happy. Impulsively, she pulled Olivia into a warm hug. "Thank you," she said. "Thank you."

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"This is delicious," Alex said. "I think maybe you should _not_ cook more often!" she grinned as Olivia threw a cushion at her.

"I have other talents," Olivia said, mock-huffily.

Alex looked at her fondly. "You certainly have a real talent for friendship. And I for one will be forever grateful for that."


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a bitch of a day, and Olivia Benson was grateful to get home. She felt a pang of disappointment, coupled with relief, that the apartment was empty. She would have liked to spend the evening with Alex, but she was pleased that Alex hadn't felt that she had to rush back just to cook for her. At last, she was relaxing into sharing the living space. Olivia decided to tease the attorney, so she dialed her number.

As soon as Alex answered, Olivia said in an aggrieved tone, "and just where is my dinner?"

"I don't know, detective," Alex responded. "I thought with your new-found culinary skills you'd have knocked up a soufflé within minutes of getting home!"

Olivia laughed, and smiled when she heard Alex laughing too. "Are you okay?" she asked her. "Please don't tell me you're still working?"

Alex sighed. "Another two hours should do it," she said. "It's the Robinson case. Urgent. I'm sorry, I'd much rather be at home with you. I might even have let you win at Scrabble."

Olivia snorted derisively. "And just who won the last three games, _counselor_?" her tone was sarcastic.

"You lie," Alex said. "Like a rug. Goodbye, detective. Oh and do me one favor? Please don't try to cook anything. I don't want to have to collect you from the emergency room on the way home," and she hung up before Olivia could say anything.

Olivia looked at the telephone receiver in her hand, and laughed. She loved this new, teasing side to Alex. She didn't often show her sense of humor in the workplace, but Olivia was coming to realize that she was one of the funniest people she had ever met. She laughed quickly and easily, and was always eager to find humor where she could. Olivia made a decision.

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Alex reached into the drawer and took out the bottle of Tylenol. This case was a hard one, and she was determined to make sure that the evil men would never get out of prison. She shook two tablets out of the bottle, and dry swallowed them.

"You should always take those with water," Olivia said softly from the door to her office.

Alex looked up, startled, and gave a small smile. "Don't tell me, you want to boil an egg and you need instructions?"

Olivia smiled back. "I was gonna come and tease you about abandoning me. But I thought maybe it would be more helpful if I brought you dinner," she lifted the paper sack in her hand. "Take-out from Chen's. I hope you're in the mood for Chinese."

Alex gave her a warm, genuine smile. "What would I do without you?" she exhaled, gratefully.

"You look tired," Olivia said, seeing the tired lines under her eyes. "Can this not wait until tomorrow?"

"I'm nearly done. Another half hour. But I am very happy to stop for dinner. You'll eat with me, won't you?"

"I'd love to, as long as it doesn't hold you up," Olivia sat on the couch. She realized how uncomfortable it was. "Jesus Alex, how did you ever sleep on this?" she spoke before she was able to censor herself. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"It's okay, Liv, don't worry about it. And the answer is that I barely slept. Anyway, how about you? I hear it was a rough day at the 1-6 too. I'm sorry about that kid."

Olivia turned away, not wanting to see the sympathy in her friend's eyes. "Me too," she said, softly.

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Alex finished her meal, and sat back gratefully. "That was great," she said.

"Do you mind if I stay, while you finish up? I won't distract you. Then I can give you a ride home," Olivia didn't want Alex traveling home on her own, on such a dark, cold and wet night. The weather had gotten worse in the last hour, and she could see the rain lashing against the window. It would turn to sleet soon, she guessed.

Alex was about to demur, but she could see that Olivia genuinely wanted to stay. She smiled, and threw the New York Times at her. "See if you can finish the crossword for me then."

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It was after 11pm when they made their way out of the building. They didn't see Elliot driving past, on his way home from Dickie's school play, so Olivia was not expecting his questions the following morning. Eventually, she turned to him impatiently. "No, Elliot. I am not _dating_ Alex Cabot. We're merely roommates for a short while. And I gave her a ride home because I had to drop off a file."

"I've seen the way she looks at you," Elliot teased. "And, c'mon. Those legs."

"What about my legs?" Alex startled him. He had not realized she was in the squad room. "Do you have something you want to say to me, _detective_?" the sarcasm was evident in her tone.

Elliot recovered himself fast. "Well hello counselor. I was just saying to Detective Benson here that it seems … incongruous … you staying with her."

Olivia looked exasperated.

Alex hated that she had caused Olivia to be the butt of jokes at the station. She took a deep breath. "The truth is," she started.

"The truth," Olivia interrupted in a low whisper that only Alex and Elliot could hear. "Alex is helping me out. I got a little behind with my bills. Alex is having her place redecorated. So she's helping me out with the rent for a couple of months, and in return she doesn't have to cope with paint fumes while it's being done. I hope that's okay with you," she spoke sharply, making it clear that there was no further room for discussion.

Elliot held his hands up. "Okay, okay. I was only having a bit of fun."

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"Why did you do that?" Alex asked Olivia that evening. "With Elliot? I was going to tell him the truth, Liv."

"I know you were, Alexandra. And that's why I did it. I'd rather he thought I'd been a little careless, than have him know all about your private life. It doesn't concern him. And I know how hard all of this has been on you."

"You were protecting me," Alex was incredibly moved. "You take such good care of me," she said. "I don't deserve a friend like you."

"You deserve nothing but the best," Olivia told her firmly. "And you've been taking care of me since you moved in here. And I can stand up for myself in the squadroom. I didn't want them to make you into some joke. You're too good for that," she said softly. "You don't deserve that."

"I think you may be the kindest person I've ever known," Alex laid a hand on Olivia's arm. "I'll never forget all you've done for me."

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"I'm _okay_," Olivia snapped at Elliot, as she cradled her arm. "I'll be fine, just leave me … aargh," she cried out as she tried to turn away. The pain was indescribable. Something was wrong; this would not go away with a couple of pills and a good night's rest. She felt sick and shaky.

Elliot put his arm round her waist, and guided her gently to a chair. "Let me see, Liv," he spoke softly. Very carefully, he removed Olivia's supporting arm, so he could inspect her injured limb. The wrist was clearly broken; the angle of her hand was very unnatural. The joint was horribly swollen, and Elliot could swear that the swelling was increasing in front of his eyes. Olivia's eyes were glassy with shock.

"Okay," he said. He shrugged off his own jacket and wrapped it carefully around Olivia's shoulders. She had started to shake, and he knew that it was best to keep her as warm as possible, while they waited for the ambulance.

The incident had taken place in a school; an angry father had lost control and thrown a heavy chair at his ex-wife. Olivia had rushed in to protect the woman, but the heavy oak of the chair had resounded sickeningly off her arm. Elliot had managed to empty the classroom of onlookers. Now, it was just him, Olivia and Finn. "Blanket?" he mouthed at Finn, who nodded and disappeared, returning a few short minutes later holding a warm blanket. Finn tucked it around Olivia, who was struggling to remain conscious through the pain.

"Thanks," Olivia whispered.

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"When? Where? I'm coming now," Alex grabbed her purse and walked quickly toward the door. "Are you with her? Don't go anywhere until I get there," she instructed. "And Elliot? Thanks for calling me."

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Elliot looked up, as Alex came striding through the halls of the hospital. He had to admit it to himself; she was an imposing woman, by anyone's standards. Her bearing was authoritative, and it was obvious she was going nowhere until she got answers. Sometimes women like that unnerved him – and he had to admit that there were times he had wished Alex Cabot to hell and back. But today, she could be useful.

"She's in surgery," he said, as she approached. "Nobody's telling us anything."

Alex nodded. "We'll see about that." She headed for the desk.

From his vantage point, Elliot was able to observe Alexandra Cabot in action and even he had to admit it was impressive. Within minutes, the scared-looking girl behind the desk had been replaced by an older woman, who was in turn replaced by a grey-haired man in a white coat. The older man – he looked like a doctor – was engaged in close conversation with Alex for several minutes. At the end of the conversation, Alex smiled graciously and thanked him.

"Her wrist is broken in three places," Alex told Elliot and Finn. "They're pinning it now. They think she should regain full movement, though it will likely take a few months. She'll be out of surgery within the hour, and they're moving her to a private room as soon as she is out of recovery. We can see her then."

"How did you manage to get all that?" Elliot was full of admiration. "All we got was 'patient confidentiality', blah blah."

For the first time, Alex smiled. "Legalese," she said. "Works every time. Though it's probably best you don't mention specifically that I'm the ADA for Special Victims. They _may_ be under the impression that I needed the information in case Liv were to sue the county. What with the accident happening at work, and in a school of all places."

Elliot grinned. "Sometimes, Cabot, you impress me."

Alex smiled. "So how was she?" she asked. "When they took her in? Was it horrible?"

"She was quiet. I think she was in a lot of pain. But she was okay. She was talking. Told me to tell you she might not make it back until late, not to hold dinner for her. God, I hope they don't keep her in. She hates these places."

"Why?" Alex wanted to know. "I mean, I know nobody _likes_ hospitals. Did something happen?"

"You should talk to her," Elliot said. "But if you have any influence with her doctors, and it looks to me like you have, I think she'd be real happy to get out of here today."

Alex nodded. "Let's see what they say. It's only early now, it's barely 9am. Maybe they'll let me take her home this evening, if I tell them she won't be alone."

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Olivia cranked open one eye. "You look like shit, Cabot," she said, her voice horribly croaky and weaker than she had expected.

"_**I**_ look like shit?" Alex smiled, as she put down the crossword and touched Olivia's uninjured hand. "Says the woman who's been slugging it out with The Incredible Hulk."

"What are you doing here?" Olivia was confused. "I thought you were in court today."

"I was only second chair. Simmonds is filling in. I wanted to check how my landlady was doing," she smiled, seeing the pained expression on Olivia's face. "Hurts, huh?"

"Like a bitch," Olivia bit out.

Alex was already pressing the call button.

Once Olivia's medication had been adjusted, she looked over once more at Alex. "Whassa time?"

"Nearly 7pm. Time for you to try and get some rest."

"When can I go home?" Olivia asked weakly.

"Tomorrow afternoon, if you behave," Alex said. "I know. You don't wanna be here. I'm sorry, I fought as hard as I could. But it was a major procedure, Liv. You've got all sorts of nuts and bolts in there now," she smiled as she nodded at the injured limb. "But don't worry. You'll be okay. With the right physical therapy, and a bit of effort on your part, you'll be as good as new before you know it."

Olivia nodded. "I hate these places," she admitted. "I really hate them."

"Why?" Alex asked softly.

"I spent too much of my childhood in the hospital."

"Were you sick?" Alex wanted to know.

Olivia shook her head. "Not me. Well, twice it was for me. Mom was so sorry. Both times. The first time, I burned myself on the iron."

"How old were you?"

"Nearly six. But Mom was going for a job interview, and I was … trying to help. I wanted her to look smart."

Alex kept quiet. This was the first time Olivia had ever mentioned her mother.

"The second time, I had to get my head stitched," Olivia pointed to a faint zig-zag scar on her forehead. "We had gotten into a fight, when I tried to stop her driving." She inhaled shakily. "My mother's an alcoholic, Alex. It seems like I spent half my childhood here with her. Having her stomach pumped. Waiting for her to sober up. Sitting with her while she hallucinated. A couple of times, I came home from school, and I thought she had died. And then," a tear slid down her face, "I almost wished she had." She swiped the tear angrily from her face. "I'm sorry," she said. She tried to smile. "I've just never had much fun in hospitals."

Alex took her hand and held it softly. She nodded. "Try and sleep, Liv," she said. "We'll get you out of here as soon as possible, I swear." She stood up and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'm gonna call Stabler, but I'll be right back, I swear."


	6. Chapter 6

"I guessed you'd be a terrible patient," Alex smiled, as she helped Olivia into the car. "We're not even home yet, and you're telling me what to do."

"I'm just telling you you can go to work," Olivia insisted. "I'll be fine."

"You wanna drive then?" sarcastically Alex held out the car keys to her.

"Very funny," Olivia grumped. "I'll be fine once I'm home. It's these damned places. You feel so … so _helpless_. And I hate that."

Alex realized that Olivia had been knocked off her axis by the accident, and that she wasn't being deliberately awkward. She hated the loss of control, the feeling of vulnerability. And Alex understood that more than anyone. "I know, Liv," she said softly. "And I know you aren't helpless. You'd be fine if I left you on your own. But there are some things that are going to be difficult for a while. Plus the fact you're recovering from an anesthetic. I swear I'll try not to fuss you, if you let me work at home for a couple of days. Then it's the weekend anyway. And by Monday, I'm betting you'll be playing the violin again!" she tried to keep her tone light.

Olivia smiled. "That'd be great. I always wanted to play a musical instrument." She looked over at Alex, and could see the tiredness in her face. "I'm sorry, I've been a bear. And," she reached out and unconsciously tucked a strand of hair behind Alex's ear, "I'm even more sorry that you didn't go home last night. I asked you to stay at my apartment so you _wouldn't_ have to spend the night on municipal furniture!" she tried to joke. If she had realized that Alex was going to spend the night in the chair by her bed, she would have sent her firmly home. But by the time she worked out what had happened, it was already morning.

Alex gave a small laugh. "It made me realize that perhaps my couch _isn't_ the most uncomfortable item of furniture ever made!" she teased.

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"This is so embarrassing," Olivia said, as Alex reached out through her t-shirt and unfastened her bra. "That's great, I can take it from here." She couldn't wait to get into the shower, and was confident that she could manage everything else, but there was no way she could get that damned clip unfastened without help. It looked like she was going to go bra-less for the next few days at least. She was grateful that it was winter; she could wear a thick cardigan and it wouldn't be too obvious. And she was pretty sure that Alex was going to try and persuade her to stay in the apartment, at least for the next day or two. So she wouldn't have to worry for a little while.

The shower was cleansing and therapeutic, and the waterproof covering provided by the hospital was surprisingly effective. Olivia struggled a little to dry herself, but she managed it, and even got dressed in loose sweats without help. She emerged from the bathroom. Alex had been standing by the door of the bathroom during most of Olivia's shower, but as soon as she heard the water shut off, she scuttled back to her 'desk' and tried to look nonchalant. Olivia would hate it if she thought Alex was fussing her.

"Nice shower?"

"The best," Olivia said.

"Tea?" Alex suggested.

"I can make it," Olivia said.

Alex smiled. "Do you remember what you said to me when I moved in here?"

Olivia stared.

"You told me you understood that I hated my loss of independence. You knew I didn't like to ask for help. And you told me to man up, and put up with it. And that's what I'm telling you now, Detective Benson. Yes, I know you are a capable woman. And I know that you don't like to be the one taken care of. But, for a little while at least, that's what's gonna happen. So you'll have to tough it out."

"Touché," Olivia smiled.

"So get your ass on that couch. I'll bring you some tea."

"You can be quite scary, counselor, did you know that?"

Alex grinned, evilly.

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"Want anything?" Alex buttoned up her warm coat. The weather outside was icy, and she had always felt the cold. She looked around.

"They're on the kitchen counter. Your gloves," Olivia clarified.

"How do you do that?" Alex laughed.

"What can I tell you, Miss Cabot? I'm a genius," Olivia laughed. "You got the list right?"

Alex nodded.

"Well I don't think we need anything else."

"I won't be long."

"Take as long as you need. I have tea, I have a good book and, thanks to you, I have some lovely music to listen to. I'm all set up."

Alex smiled.

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About 20 minutes after Alex left, Olivia heard a soft tap on the door. She peered through the spyhole, not recognizing the woman on the other side of the door. But she looked friendly. "Hello?" Olivia said.

"Hi," replied the woman. "Does Alexandra Cabot live here?"

"She's staying for a while," Olivia didn't want to give out too much information about Alex without her permission.

The woman smiled. "That's great," she said. "May I leave this for her?" she held out a small pile of mail. "I know she's changed the address with her bank etc., but she's still getting some mail at her old apartment."

Olivia's brain clicked into gear. "So you're Charlie!" she exclaimed.

The woman nodded. "Charlie. Charlotte. That's me. So can I leave it with you? I'm assuming Alex isn't in?"

"She out, doing some grocery shopping. Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. My name's Olivia. Please, come in. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, that's fine. I'm just on my way to meet a friend. That's why I was in the area, I thought it would be good to drop this off on the way."

"And you wanted to check Alex was okay?" Olivia said softly.

Charlie smiled. "It's clear to me that she is. I didn't think she was, for a while. But … she's a very hard person to help, you know?"

Olivia nodded. "I think things were difficult for a while. But she's been my roommate for nearly three months now, and she's doing really well. And," she grimaced as she gestured to her arm, "now she's taking care of me!"

"Roommate?" Charlie looked surprised. "Oh I'm sorry. I … assumed … maybe. I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. But I'm glad. She needs a friend. And it was too early. I was afraid she was on the rebound. I'm rambling now. I'm so sorry. What I wanted to say, what I _want_ to say, is thank you. Alex and I … we didn't work out. But I'm real fond of her. She's a good person. And now I know if she has you as a friend, she's going to be fine. Thank you."

And with that, she was gone.

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Alex returned to the apartment, laden down with bags. She had a light dusting of snow on her coat, and her nose was red. "It's cold as hell out there," she told Olivia, as she peeled off her coat and started to unpack in the kitchen.

Olivia went up to her, and passed her the small pile of mail. "This came for you," she said, trying to keep her voice light.

Alex smiled, and took the pile from her. Her face went white when she saw the address on the top envelope. "Liv, how ..."

"Charlie dropped it off," Olivia said. "She seems real nice."

Alex opened her mouth. She closed it again.

"Sit," Olivia said softly, and Alex complied, drawing up a chair to the small kitchen table.

Olivia sat opposite her. She put one hand over Alex's. "It's okay, Alex. What's wrong? Did you think I wouldn't approve?"

Alex shook her head. "It's not that. It really isn't. It's just... I've been so happy here. I didn't want to rock the boat. It's not something I really talk about. It's just … who I am."

"You know you're not doing anything wrong, right?" Olivia said.

Alex nodded. "Intellectually, sure, I know that. But ..."

"There will always be prejudice," Olivia said softly.

Alex nodded again. "The last time I came out I was 21. To my mother. And she threw me out of the family."

"Oh Alexandra," Olivia squeezed her fingers. "I'm so sorry."

Alex looked up, and saw the compassion in her eyes. "I'm glad you know now. I never wanted to lie to you Liv. It just … it never came up."

"We never talked about it. You didn't. I didn't. But," Olivia smiled. "In the interests of full disclosure, I should tell you I have had three serious relationships in my life. And two of them were with women."

Alex looked at her and smiled. She let out a small laugh. Before she knew it, she was laughing fit to bust, tears streaming down her cheeks.

To start with, Olivia had no idea what had amused her. But then the ridiculousness of the situation hit her, and she started to laugh with Alex, their joint mirth feeding off each other, until both their sides ached, and they both felt incredibly light – and happy.

Olivia looked at Alex's tear-stained, but happy, face. "I wish you could stay here for ever," she said softly.


	7. Chapter 7

"You haven't seen her in over a month," Alex said.

"I know," Olivia said. She took a deep breath. "In a way it's been nice. I mean, I love my mother. Of course I do. But I don't love all the drama that comes along with her. I know it's not her fault, but it's just exhausting."

Alex could see the tension in Olivia's eyes, and wondered just how bad it had gotten. She had been surprised that the woman hadn't come to visit Olivia in the hospital, or even call afterward to see how she was. But there had been no contact at all until that morning, when Olivia had called her.

Alex knew she shouldn't snoop, and she tried not to listen in too closely to the conversation. But she was surprised by how guarded Olivia was – and she didn't even mention her injury. Alex was sad for Olivia. Alex's own relationship with her mother was non-existent, but at least she had known the love and support of her father. From what Alex understood, Olivia's mother was a single parent; certainly, Olivia had never mentioned a father.

"So," Alex smiled brightly. "Lunch could be nice. Where are you meeting her?"

"There's a small restaurant near her apartment, we usually go there," Olivia ran her hand through her hair, betraying the tension that she felt. Alex had noticed that this was a gesture she regularly made when she was under particular stress.

"Let me drive you," Alex suggested. "It's icy out there."

"I'll be fine," Olivia tried to dismiss the offer.

"Please?" Alex asked softly. "I'd really like to you. I don't want you to risk losing your balance, you've gotta take care of that arm. I won't stay, I'll just drop you at the door."

Olivia looked closely at her, and eventually nodded. "Thank you. That would be nice. But I'll get a cab back, I don't know how long we'll be." She liked the idea of traveling to lunch with Alex. She was anxious about seeing her mother – worried that she would drink over lunch and make her worry more about her. So the thought of staying in Alex's warm presence until the last minute appealed.

Olivia had surprised herself by how relaxed she felt when Alex was around. She gave her a sense of security, of companionship that she had never truly experienced before. It didn't hurt that Alex was stunning, though Olivia tried to tamp down her attraction to her. She had been excited to learn that Alex was gay, but she knew that the attorney was still too fragile to consider a relationship – if she would even want one with Olivia. And Olivia thought she knew her well enough to be sure that Alex wouldn't want to have any relationship until her finances were in good order. She was a proud woman, and the thought of going out on a date where she couldn't pay her way would, Olivia guessed, fill her with horror.

But this friendship, even if it was all it would ever be, was so precious to Olivia – and also to Alex. For the first time in her life, Olivia felt that someone was completely on her side. During the day, she would see, or read, or hear something, and look forward to sharing it with Alex in the evening.

Olivia was thrilled, too, that Alex was looking so much better these days. When she had first moved into Olivia's apartment, she had been so fragile. She looked like she hadn't slept in a month, or eaten in a week. But now she was relaxed and energized, and her figure was once again glorious. Olivia loved that they laughed so much together. Never before, even in a relationship, had she had so much fun in somebody else's company. Alex's keen intelligence meant that she often saw humor in the strangest places, and she was surprisingly eager to laugh where she possibly could.

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Olivia realized a flaw in her plan, as she struggled to get dressed. It was now nine days after her accident, and she hadn't attempted to put a bra on up until this point. She struggled for nearly ten minutes, and gave up. She shrugged on her robe, and wandered, embarrassed, into the living room, where Alex sat reading.

Alex looked up and smiled.

"I feel such a fool," Olivia said, an embarrassed smile on her face. "But … do you think you could help me with this?" she lifted her bra and dangled it between her fingers.

Alex laughed. "Oh my God, of course," she said. "I didn't think. What's the best way to do this?"

"I thought maybe if I did the front, as much as I can, you could do the back for me?" Olivia was laughing now too.

"Sounds good. In the bedroom?" she gestured to the large windows in the living room. "Unless you're keen to give the neighbors a show."

"And make this even more humiliating?" Olivia chuckled.

Alex followed Olivia into her bedroom, where the detective did her best to draw the bra around her breasts. Alex focused tactfully on her back while she did so. Not that that helped much. Alex looked at the strong plane of her back, and it was all she could not to run her hand down it, the sculpted shoulders, the clearly defined muscles. And that skin tone. Alex just wanted to press her lips to that soft, perfect skin. But she managed to control herself, and efficiently snapped the bra into place. She put a hand gently on Olivia's shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything else," she slipped out of the room.

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"Hey," Alex smiled as Olivia came through the door. "How was it?"

"It was fine," Olivia was a little terse. "I'm gonna get some tea, want some?"

Alex wanted to offer to make the tea, but she felt that Olivia didn't want that. "That'd be great," she said.

Alex watched as Olivia made her way around the kitchen. From her vantage point on the couch, she was able to watch Olivia without her seeing her, unless she turned around. Olivia's body language was tired, and defeated. When Alex saw her slump into a chair while the kettle boiled, her heart broke for her. She just wanted to go up to her and give her a warm hug. But Olivia was trying to hold it together in front of her, and she felt she should respect her privacy.

Once they were settled with their mugs, Olivia smiled at Alex. "How was _your_ day?"

"It was good. I had a long walk in the park, which was wonderful. I love the crisp air as winter begins. The sunshine and the ice together, it's really beautiful. And then I came back and curled up on the couch with a good book. A perfect Saturday!"

Olivia looked over at her, and realized how much she enjoyed this. Just sitting around, talking, drinking tea. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, impulsively.

Alex smiled back at her. "So am I," her words were heartfelt. She thought she spotted conflict in Olivia's face. "So was it awful?" she asked quietly.

Olivia shook her head. "Not awful. But … in a way … it just makes it clear what we _don't_ have, when we get together. We're not relaxed with each other. We're both trying to be nice. Nothing comes naturally. Not like now. Just sitting, just _being_. I've never had that with my Mom."

"And was she always on her own?" Alex tried to phrase the question tactfully. She wondered if she had overstepped the mark, and had already decided to back off if Olivia seemed uncomfortable. She looked up, and was appalled to see tears rolling down Olivia's face.

Instinctively, she placed her mug on the table, and strode over to Olivia. She took her mug from her shaking hands, and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Liv, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's your business. It's okay."

Olivia relished the warm hug. She felt safe and comfortable with Alex. And she knew that, without too much digging, Alex could find out about her history anyway. She allowed Alex to hold her for a few minutes, and then she pulled back. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes.

Alex took a clean handkerchief from her own pocked, and passed it to Olivia. "I'm the one who's sorry," she said. "I shouldn't ask questions."

"I do want you to know. Well, I _don't_ want you to know. But I don't want to hide it from you," she took a deep breath. "My mother was raped."

"When?" Alex tried to cover her shock.

"Thirty-three years ago. I'm the product of that rape," Olivia closed her eyes, not wanting to see Alex's reaction. She felt Alex take her hand between her own. She opened her eyes. Alex's face was full of such compassion.

"I'm so sorry, Liv," Alex pulled her back into her arms, and rocked her gently. "I'm so sorry. So that's why your mother drinks?"

Olivia nodded.

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"I usually volunteer to work," Olivia was hesitant.

"On _Thanksgiving_?" Alex was appalled.

"We never really … Mom didn't like it. So we didn't celebrate. Hell," she snorted, failing to hide her bitterness. "We barely celebrated Christmas. It was something to be got through. Never something to be enjoyed. Hey," she saw Alex's expression. "Don't look so tragic. Many people had it much worse than I did."

"Are you working this Thanksgiving?" Alex sounded dejected.

"I haven't arranged to, not yet."

Alex smiled. "Let's do Thanksgiving here then, huh? Just the two of us. We don't have to make a big thing out of it. It's just nice to spend the day with somebody. My Dad and I, we always got together."

Olivia remembered. "And this is your first year without him. I'm so sorry, Alexandra. I wasn't thinking. Of course we'll do something, if you really want. I'll tell Cragen he can get some other sucker this year!"

Alex's face lit up. "Maybe a chicken would be better, Dad and I would usually do that. A turkey's too big for just two. But we have to have all the trimmings," she looked for a notepad so that she could get organized. "It's going to be great, Olivia," she sounded like an excited child.

Olivia smiled. Maybe this year, it really would be?


	8. Chapter 8

It was nearly 2am by the time Olivia finished work. She let herself into the apartment as quietly as she could. It was Thanksgiving on the following day, and she knew that Alex had been working for days to get everything prepared.

She glanced into the kitchen and smiled. There were pots, pans, bowls, plastic containers, all seemingly holding yet another Thanksgiving treasure. Alex had been like an excited child over the past week, and it was that, more than anything, that gave Olivia such pleasure.

When Olivia emerged from her bedroom the following morning just after 8am, Alex was already hard at work. "Hey," Olivia said, spotting Alex kneeling on the floor, peering anxiously into the oven.

Alex smiled. "I thought you'd still be asleep!"

"Whatcha doing?"

"I'm just trying to work out when to turn the oven on. I decided we should have turkey after all," Alex smiled. "Since this is your first real Thanksgiving. But I just got a turkey crown, since there's only two of us. And I'm just working out the cooking time."

"And you do that by staring at the oven door?" Olivia teased.

"Exactly," Alex laughed. "It's all part of the magic of the kitchen. One day, Detective Benson, you'll understand."

"I very much doubt it," Olivia said. "Me and cooking; we just don't get along. But eating," she sniffed, "that I can get on board with. This all smells delicious Alex. Tell me, how can I help?"

"You can drink this," Alex passed her a coffee. "And I'll make you some eggs for breakfast," she put out a hand to forestall Olivia's protest. "No. Today is for you. Today, I'm gonna wait on you. Let me do it, huh?" she gave Olivia a shy smile.

Olivia could see how much it meant to Alex. She put her coffee on the table, and drew her into a one-armed hug, taking care not to jar her plaster cast. "You're sweet," she said. "And I'm very grateful."

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"Okay, I admit it. I may have gotten a little carried away," Alex said, as she brought a third pie to the table.

"You, counselor?" Olivia teased. "After that magnificent meal, you think we could possibly have room for _one_ pie, far less three? That does smell delicious though. What is it?"

"Pecan. I couldn't decide between apple, pumpkin and pecan. So...," Alex started laughing. "Okay, I admit it. I went too far."

Olivia smiled at her. She reached for her hand, and squeezed it affectionately. "This is perfect, Alex. I can't believe I'm 32, and this is the first time I've done this properly. It's amazing. I'm loving every minute. You really are wonderful."

Alex blushed. She had prayed that she would be able to give Olivia a Thanksgiving to remember, and it seemed she had succeeded. Olivia had been like a child when she saw each new dish. "We're gonna be eating leftovers for a month," she laughed. "Should we take a break before the pie? Maybe have some coffee."

"I'll make the coffee," Olivia said firmly, pushing Alex into her seat. "You must be exhausted. I don't know how you did all this. Sit, relax."

They decided to move to the living room to enjoy their coffee. After a few minutes, Olivia got up, returning from her room a moment later, with her uninjured hand behind her back. "I know we said no gifts," she said. "But I saw this, and I couldn't resist it," shyly, she handed a package to Alex.

"Olivia, you didn't have to do this," Alex protested.

"Open it, Cabot," Olivia said impatiently. "I wanna see if it fits."

Alex undid the wrapping, and brought out a beautiful, blue, soft cashmere sweater. "Wow," she said, as she instinctively pressed the soft wool to her cheek. "This is beautiful, Olivia. It's perfect." She looked in the label. "And it's my size. And this blue, I just love it."

"It brings out the blue in your eyes," Olivia said softly, a wide smile on her face. She knew that Alex loved nice clothes, and she also knew that she hadn't been able to afford any in over a year, buying only what was really necessary.

"I love it. Thank you so much," Alex blinked back tears.

"Try it on then," Olivia pushed her toward her bedroom.

She emerged a couple of minutes later, wearing the sweater which clung to her every curve. It was a perfect fit, and she looked wonderful. Alex held out a package to Olivia. "I know," she laughed. "No gifts. But this isn't a gift. It's a necessity. The one you have is falling to pieces. I tried to get the same style, but I can change it if you don't like it."

Olivia looked intrigued. Smiling, she opened the package and withdrew a warm, man's robe. It looked similar to her old one in style, but it was made of much more luxurious fabric, and felt wonderfully warm. "I love it!" she cried. "I've been meaning to get a new one for ever, but … I'm not that keen on shopping. It's just what I need. I'm gonna be so warm and cosy in the apartment now!" Olivia was touched that Alex had taken the trouble to find a robe that she would really like. She had tried women's robes in the past, but they were too small, or too short. She loved the feeling of a really big, warm man's robe that she could really wrap around herself, and feel safe and warm in.

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As she lay in bed that night, Alex smiled to herself. She realized that she felt an emotion that had been in short supply for a long time – happiness. The day had been wonderful. Of course, there had been bittersweet moments, especially when she remembered her father who she had been so close to, and who had been such a fan of Thanksgiving. But then she had just had to look over at Olivia, who was experiencing the holiday properly for just about the first time, and her heart had swelled with pleasure.

Just a few short months ago, Alex had been mired in misery – broke, unhappy and fearful of what the future would bring. Every day was a struggle to keep up the pretence, to give the impression that she was on top of her life. But Olivia Benson had seen through all that, and had offered her a way out. Now she only had a couple of months left until her debt was paid and she could resume her life. But already she lived in a warm home, with the best friend she had ever had. She had never felt so secure, or so content. And it was all because of a certain dark-haired detective. She knew what she had to be thankful for.

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"They're only taking the plaster off," Olivia said. "I can get a cab. You have better things to do with your Saturday."

"Actually," Alex said mildly. "I really don't. And this one's non-negotiable, Benson," she smiled to temper her words. "Anyways, I'm making the most of driving your car. I'll have to give the keys back soon," she mock-pouted.

Olivia laughed. "You know you can drive it whenever you want. And I'm kinda getting used to the chauffeur service. I was thinking of getting you a peaked cap and a uniform..."

Alex gave her an icy glare, which caused Olivia to laugh out loud. "That's it! I know I'm in trouble now. I got the 'court-room stare' from you."

Alex let out a roar of laughter. "That's my '_you're an asshole_' look that I usually save just for defense attorneys. Take it as a warning. Now, what time are we leaving for the hospital?" she said, leaving no room for argument.

"About 9.45am?" Olivia gave up.

"I'll be ready," Alex went off to shower.

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"Are you sure they said you should start exercising today?" Alex looked over at Olivia's excited face as they drove back from the hospital.

Olivia nodded. "They said I should take it carefully, just ten minutes at a time. I need to get back to active duty, I'm gonna go crazy if I have to stay behind that desk for much longer."

Alex understood Olivia's frustration. She was a capable, fit woman who couldn't bear not to be out in the field with Elliot. At least she was still able to help out with interrogations, and most importantly she dealt with most of the children who came into the station. But Alex knew she was desperate to get fit again, and that she would work as hard as she could to make that a reality. "Okay," Alex said softly. "Just don't overdo it, huh?"

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"Olivia Benson, just what in the hell do you think you are doing?" Alex was pissed. She had just come back from the market, and Olivia was still sitting at the kitchen table, her expression fierce as she concentrated on squeezing the exercise ball in her hand.

Olivia looked up. "What?" she hated to be interrupted.

Alex could see lines of pain in her face. She tamped down her own irritation, and softened her voice. "Didn't the doctors say ten minutes? I've been out for over an hour. Please tell me you haven't been there all that time."

Olivia looked guilty. "I didn't realize it had been that long," she was apologetic. "I just thought … you know, no pain, no gain," she grimaced as she released the ball and stretched out her fingers. She realized that she really had overdone it. "That was dumb, huh?"

"I think so," Alex said softly. "No more for today, okay?"

Olivia nodded, feeling stupid. She knew she had gone longer than ten minutes, but she was surprised to learn that it had been over half an hour. She allowed Alex to fuss over her, and to settle her on the couch with hot tea. She was surprised when Alex sat next to her, and held out her hands. "Let me see," she said, and she took her injured limb gently between her hands. "How about a little massage?" she suggested. Olivia nodded. Her wrist had really begun to throb.

Very tenderly, Alex massaged her sore hand. She kept away from her wrist, apart from the occasional gentle stroke. After ten minutes, Olivia felt much more relaxed. Alex laid her hand on a soft pillow. "How's that?" she asked.

"Bliss," Olivia told her. "I was an idiot. That feels much better."

Impulsively, Alex kissed her on the cheek. "Drink your tea, I'll make dinner."

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By 11pm, Olivia could barely keep her eyes open. Her hand throbbed like a bitch, but she hoped a good night's sleep would fix that. "I think I'll turn in," she said to Alex.

"Don't forget to take a pain pill," Alex said. "You're real pale, Liv, I know it's hurting."

Olivia nodded. "I will," she promised. She knew Alex was right. It might help her sleep too.

Just before 2am, Alex woke. She often woke in the night, and it didn't really worry her. But she saw a strip of light coming under the door. Olivia must be in the living room. She shrugged on her robe and opened the door. She could see Olivia sitting on the couch; she had her sore wrist in one hand, and a glass of water and a pill on the table in front of her. She was as white as a sheet, and as Alex approached, she could see her friend rocking slightly, sweat beading on her face and neck.

"Liv?" she called softly. "Liv? Are you okay?"

Olivia looked up at her, her eyes glassy with pain. She shook her head. "Not really," she whispered. "Hurts."

"How bad?"

"Pretty bad," Olivia admitted. "It's my fault."

Alex sat next to her, placing her soft hand on her back. "Turns out you're not superwoman after all, huh?" she spoke softly. "Is that your pain pill?"

Olivia nodded. "Can't take it for another hour," her voice shook.

"So you're sitting here, watching it?" Alex's words were gentle.

"Something like that," Olivia bit out.

"Okay. Okay," Alex whispered. "I'll be right back." In minutes, she had returned with the quilt from Olivia's bed, which she draped around her shoulders. She settled down next to her, and put a pillow on her lap. "Lie down," she said, and guided Olivia's head to the pillow. Very carefully, she lifted Olivia's sore hand and laid it on the pillow next to her cheek. She reached for the ice pack she had brought, resting it on the injured limb. Olivia hissed. "I know, sweetheart," Alex said. "I know. It'll help soon, I swear."

"Alex?" Olivia's voice was thick. "I don't feel good," she swallowed.

"You gonna throw up?" Alex looked around, relieved as her eyes lighted upon the trash can, which was just within her reach.

"Dunno," Olivia sounded so miserable Alex wished she could take away her pain.

Alex reached for the trash can, and set it on the floor by her feet. "That's okay, Liv. You just let me know. Now try to relax, if you can." She started to run her hand through her hair. "Shh, don't try to talk. Try and breathe evenly," she knew Olivia's stress was only making it worse. "That's good, honey. You can do this. It's just for an hour. And we'll get you to the doctor tomorrow, just in case. There. You're doing good."

"Don't want to sleep," Olivia was frightened she'd be asleep when it came time to take her pill.

"Don't worry. If you do, I'll wake you for your pill. I swear. Now relax," Alex resumed her stroking. "Shh. I'm here for you Liv. It'll all be okay. And in an hour, you get the good drugs, that's worth holding out for, isn't it?"

Alex continued to talk nonsense to her friend, and was relieved to feel her relax in her arms. She kept her promise though, and when the time came for the pill, she roused the drowsy Olivia and held the glass of water to her lips as she took her medication.

Olivia barely remembered Alex guiding her back to her bed and tucking her in. She wasn't aware of her friend keeping vigil for the next hour as she drifted to sleep, jerking awake every few minutes until the pain pill grabbed. She was vaguely aware of Alex's soft lips on her forehead as she eventually stood to leave the room.

Alex lay awake, wishing she could stay by Olivia's side. In truth, she wanted to gather her in her arms and hold her, absorb some of her pain. She wanted to be there to reassure her, to chase away the demons. But she knew that Olivia was proud and independent, and Alex feared she might not welcome her presence. But she was determined that she would be there for her, and offer all the help that she would accept. Alex was coming to realize that she had fallen deeply in love with her friend. Maybe, just maybe, she would one day find the courage to make her move. She couldn't do anything until she was no longer dependent on the kindly detective, but it wouldn't be for too much longer. Alex wasn't sure whether to be scared or excited at the prospect of declaring her feelings.


	9. Chapter 9

"A week?" Olivia's face fell.

"Six days," Alex told her. She thought to herself that, a few months ago, she would have leapt at the chance of week in Washington on an all-expenses-paid trip. Just having a bed would have been a treat back then. But now she had a bed, albeit one that belonged to her friend. She had been happier in the past few months than she could ever remember being. She realized that she was putting her heart on the line by falling in love with Olivia Benson, but even if their friendship never developed any further, it was one she would always treasure. "Leaving Sunday, back Friday."

Olivia tried to hide her disappointment. She had gotten used to coming home every night to Alex and she really did not relish the prospect of an empty apartment. "Well, I hope your bosses realize that one of New York's Finest is likely to starve to death, without her live-in chef," she teased.

Alex laughed. "One day, I'm gonna have to teach you to cook."

"You'll have to teach me how not to get lonely too; I've got kinda used to having you around," Olivia smiled as she spoke, but she meant every word.

"Right back atcha Benson. I'll be stuck all alone in a hotel room."

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Olivia was pissed; she had been called into work, and had spent virtually all of Saturday on a fruitless search for a serial pedophile. Eventually, it emerged that he had fled the country, so all their efforts had been in vain. She was tired and dejected when she got home that evening. She was also irritated that she would barely get to see Alex before she had to jet off to Washington.

The sight of Alex both soothed and saddened her, because she realized that she would not be welcomed home from work for a week now. Not that she always made it home before Alex; the elegant attorney worked just as hard as she did. But even if the apartment was empty, Olivia knew that she would be coming home at some point.

What Olivia found the hardest to deal with was that this week away was only a precursor to how things would be when Alex moved out. Alex had cleared off most of her debt by now, so it was only a matter of time before she found her own place.

Olivia had been surprised by how quickly she had gotten used to sharing her living space. She hadn't had a roommate since college, and she always believed that she enjoyed living alone. But she had not only become accustomed to Alex's presence, she was now starting to depend on it. She knew that she was deeply in love with the younger woman. Even beyond that fact, they had developed a profound friendship that she knew would last for ever. Unless, somehow, she fucked it up. And she was frightened she would. She so wanted to let Alex know how she felt about her – and, from time to time, she could swear that Alex felt the same way – but could she risk their friendship?

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After giving Alex a ride to the airport, Olivia went for a run in the park, pushing herself harder than usual, hoping that physical exercise would chase away her demons.

She got back to the apartment hot and sweaty, and stumbled into the kitchen for a glass of water. As she reached up to get a glass, she saw a note on the counter.

_Tonight's dinner is in the fridge. You'll find a few others in the freezer if you get peckish during the week. I'll miss you this week, but I don't want to get back on Friday and find you've turned into a giant pizza. AC_

Olivia opened the fridge, to see a plastic container with a large portion of stir-fry. Curiously, she peered into the freezer; there, she saw six neatly stacked boxes. Each held a portion of a recent meal. Clearly, Alex had deliberately cooked too much, and set aside a serving which she had frozen so that Olivia would be fed during the week she was away.

Olivia blinked back tears. This was the most thoughtful thing that anyone had ever done for her. As she held her glass under the faucet, she could see that her hand was shaking slightly, and she was glad Alex wasn't there to witness her emotional response.

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Alex spent a good deal of her time in Washington with Abbie Carmichael who, she was delighted to discover, was great company, and a fun person to spend time with. They were part of a task force focusing on improving conviction rates for sexual assault, and Abbie had specifically requested that Alex be a part of the team since she had heard such glowing reports about her from her former colleagues.

That first evening, on Sunday, Abbie invited Alex out for dinner and, in the absence of any other plans, Alex accepted.

After a delightful meal, Abbie sat back with a glass of bourbon, and eyed Alex carefully. "You're quite something, Cabot, you know that?"

Alex laughed. "I'm glad you think so, though I don't know how you can possibly judge. You've only known me eight hours!"

"I like you," Abbie said decisively.

"Well thank you. I like you too," Alex smiled. "I'm glad to find somebody with similar views on things. And," she held out her own glass of whisky, "someone else who likes to drink!"

"Amen to that," Abbie clinked glasses with her. "So, Cabot, tell me, are you dating anyone?"

Alex smiled as she stirred her drink. "Not right now," she said quietly. "Though I would … I mean, I'd ..."

"You've got your eye on someone! Care to share?"

"Not right now," Alex said. "Do you mind?"

Abbie nodded, understandingly. "Let's change the subject. I wanna know how you like my old stomping ground at the 1-6. Is Munch still spouting his crazy conspiracy theories?"

Alex laughed. "All the time," she said. "_All_ the time. I swear one day Fin is just going to punch him."

"And how is the delicious Detective Benson?"

Alex looked up sharply, and forced herself to keep her voice steady. "She's an excellent cop," she said, evenly. "I'm not sure I've ever seen anyone so dedicated to the job."

"You've seen her in action? God, she's hot when she goes all diesel dyke on a perp," Abbie said, dreamily.

This time, Alex couldn't stop herself spluttering into her drink. "Did you and Olivia...?"

Abbie shook her head. "Sadly no. I wish. That would have been amazing. I did ask her out once, but she turned me down."

"Maybe she's straight?" Alex was pleased that her voice betrayed no particular emotion.

"Benson? No way. That walk... that haircut. I'm betting she has a hot girlfriend stashed away somewhere."

"I don't think she has," Alex knew she should reveal her living situation. "I'm staying with her at her apartment right now, and she's single at the moment."

"You're living with her? What's that all about?"

"I'm just kinda between apartments," Alex said casually. "And Liv had a guest room. It's been good, actually. She's so much fun, when she manages to shut off from work."

"I'm betting that isn't often," Abbie mused. "She's one of a kind. She's …," a sudden realization hit her. "Oh. My. God. It's her, isn't it? You have a crush on Olivia Benson?"

Alex went beet red. "No, it's not that, I..."

"Bullshit Cabot. You're as red as a tomato. You have a thing for Olivia! Well you have good taste, I'll give you that. Have you asked her out?"

Alex stared. She couldn't believe that her biggest secret was out – and to a woman she'd only met that day. "It's complicated," she said, eventually.

"What's complicated?"

"I do like her," Alex admitted. "But I don't want to jeopardize our friendship. She's been a real good friend to me, and I'd hate to risk that. She might find the idea … revolting," she admitted her greatest fear.

Abbie let out a bark of laughter. "Olivia? That's never going to happen. First, she's gay. I'm 100% sure of that. Second, you are unbelievably hot – so even if she _were_ straight, which she isn't, she'd be so flattered. And she certainly wouldn't be revolted."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I asked her out. And she was so nice when she turned me down. She just said it wasn't a good time for her. But we remained friends, and there was nothing awkward between us at all. Nothing. Here," she grabbed her phone. "Let me call her. I'll ask her out for you!"

"No!" Alex screeched, putting her hand over Abbie's. "Oh God, please no."

Abbie laughed. "Okay. I won't. I promise. I think maybe I've had more of this," she raised her glass, "than is strictly good for me."

Alex looked relieved.

Abbie was already waving at the waiter. "Two more," she pointed at both their glasses. "What?" she saw Alex's surprised look. She laughed. "Well, it may not be good for me, but it sure is fun."

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12.20pm

Alex rolled gratefully into bed, her head a little fuzzier than she was used to. She was delighted to have made a new friend in Abigail Carmichael, but she knew that she was going to have to be vigilant on any future nights out with her if her liver were to survive the friendship. She got out her phone and sent a quick text message.

_Sleep well Detective Benson. AC xxx_

Olivia was lying awake, staring at the ceiling. She felt lonely and miserable. Soon, Alex would move out, and this would be her reality every night. She heard her phone beep, and her heart sank. She really didn't want to be called into work. But, as she opened the message, she smiled. She bet that Alex had been out with Abbie and, if she had, there was no way she would still be sober.

**Sleep well counselor. Miss you. O xxx**

Olivia wondered if she had been overly affectionate. But she decided to risk it. If Alex was thinking of her at that time of night, there must be a reason. Olivia could only pray that Alex felt the same way she did.

Her phone beeped again.

_Miss you too. So much. Can't wait to see you. _

Olivia smiled, and her heart leapt a little. Soon, they would have to talk.


	10. Chapter 10

**[SO sorry for the delay. This story is nearly at at end now; thanks so much for all the reads and reviews. I think it'll just be one more chapter, depending on how it comes out.]**

"Keep in touch, Cabot," Abbie hugged her new friend tight.

"I will," Alex smiled. "And you must let me know when you next make it to New York. Though I'm not drinking with you again, not on a week night. I thought I could hold my booze, but I've got nothing on you."

"Well you know what they say," Abbie grinned. "If something's worth doing, it's worth doing well!"

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Alex rolled her neck as she came through customs. It was only a short flight, but she always found air travel uncomfortable and was delighted to be back on home ground. As she came out into the public area, she gave a small smile. She was going back to Olivia's apartment, and she couldn't wait.

The hotel in Washington had been fine – really nice, actually – but she had missed the feeling of warmth and security she got with Olivia. She was pleased to have made a good friend out of Abbie Carmichael, but the friendship she had with Olivia was at a whole different level, and she couldn't wait to see her again.

"So what's making you smile, counselor?" a familiar voice spoke. Alex hadn't been paying attention, and was astounded to see Olivia waiting behind the security ropes at the airport. She rushed round and flung her arms around her, hugging her tight.

"Olivia!" Alex cried. "What are you doing here?"

"Mountaineering," Olivia replied drily. "What in the hell do you think I'm doing here?"

Alex's heart missed a beat. "You're so sweet," she said. She looked carefully at Olivia, and was pleased to see that her friend seemed fine – there were no obvious injuries, and she didn't look too exhausted, no more than usual for a Friday, anyway.

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"I've really missed this place," Alex said as she stepped into the apartment. She realized, with a start, that it was the one place where she completely relaxed. It wasn't the apartment of course; she knew that. It was the owner.

"Everyone's missed you too," Olivia told her. "Would you believe Elliot told me this morning he'd be glad to see you back?"

"Truthfully? No, I can't believe that."

"It's true," Olivia smiled. "Though it probably has more to do with the ass-chewing he got from Donnelly yesterday. It seems she makes you look like a pussycat."

Alex grinned, and stretched, feeling her vertebrae popping satisfactorily.

Olivia watched her closely. "You should take a shower, relax. If I know Abbie Carmichael, you'll be in serious need of some rest. There's some mail for you on the table," she nodded to the small pile.

Alex smiled. "She's a handful, isn't she? She sends her best. Says to look out, she'll be along soon for a visit."

"Oh God," Olivia teased. "Time to hide the single malt."

Alex flipped through the mail, discarding most of it to read later, but she hovered over one envelope. It was from her bank. With trepidation, mixed with excitement, she slipped a finger under the flap and extracted the letter. All the color drained from her face.

"Alex?" Olivia saw her changing expression. "Are you okay?"

Alex wavered on her feet. Olivia was immediately at her side. She tried to lead her to a chair, but Alex put out a hand to forestall her. "It's good news," her voice cracked. "It's just … I've been waiting for this for so long. My debt," her eyes filled. "It's paid off. At last. I no longer owe any money. I'm in the clear Liv," a fat tear inched down her face. "It's over," she reached for Olivia's hand.

Olivia could feel her shaking, so she guided her firmly to the couch. She sat next to her. Instinctively, she reached out and used her thumb to wipe away the tears. "You did it, Alexandra," she said softly. "I knew you would. My clever girl. You can get your life back now, huh?"

Alex nodded. "It's all thanks to you," she hated that her voice shook.

"Nonsense," Olivia said dismissively. She squeezed her fingers. "I'm gonna run you a bath. Then I'm going to the liquor store – we need champagne to celebrate! This is great news, Alex. I'm so proud of you."

Alex nodded. Her emotions were so close to the surface. She was afraid she'd break down in front of Olivia and, for some reason, she couldn't bear to do that.

Olivia knew that Alex was struggling, so she patted her hand affectionately. Five minutes later she was back. "It's all ready for you. Get in, have a long soak. And we're going to have a celebration that would make Carmichael proud!"

Olivia waited until she heard the door to the bathroom close. She reached out for her wallet, and let herself out of the apartment. She knew what this meant. Sooner, rather than later, Alex would move out. She felt a sudden devastation – this was almost like a bereavement. At least she knew they would stay friends, but it could never be the same again. Not once Alex moved out. She leant against the wall for support, as she struggled to pull herself together.

Olivia walked for a half hour, trying to gather herself. She knew that Alex was in an emotional state, likely due in great part to memories of her father and his illness that had resulted in her debt. She guessed she would be reliving some of the really bad times, and she wanted to give her time to remember him, to honor his memory. And she knew it wouldn't be fair to show Alex her own distress. Tonight was all about Alex, about celebrating her achievement. For months, Alex had lived incredibly frugally, buying nothing that wasn't essential. Apart from the beautiful robe she had bought Olivia for Thanksgiving. Christ, that was another thing. Christmas. It was only 11 days away, and she had planned to spend it with Alex. But Alex wouldn't find a place that fast, she reassured herself.

Maybe this was a good thing? Olivia dared to hope. Now that Alex was once again solvent, maybe they could talk about a possible relationship. Alex was too proud to have agreed to be Olivia's girlfriend when she was still in such dire financial straits. Perhaps now it was worth the risk? Not tonight, though, Olivia decided as she pushed through the doors of the liquor store, in search of the best bottle of champagne she could afford. Tonight, she would let Alex know how proud she was of her.

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Olivia took a deep breath before re-entering the apartment. Tonight should be all about Alex, and not about her own sadness that she would be leaving. As she entered, she saw Alex standing in the kitchen. The attorney was freshly bathed, and wrapped in a warm robe. Olivia smiled when she saw that Alex was wearing the pajamas that Olivia had lent her that first night. Alex seemed to be very fond of those pajamas and when she had half-heartedly tried to return them, Olivia had insisted that she keep them. It gave Olivia a warm, happy feeling to see Alex dressed in her clothes.

Olivia's smile turned to a frown when she noticed that Alex's body language was a little off. She held on to the counter, and tension radiated from her. Olivia realized that her shoulders were shaking.

"Alex?" Olivia spoke gently, as she placed the now-forgotten bottle of champagne on the counter. "Alex, honey, are you okay?"

"I just need a minute," Alex's voice was thick with emotion.

Olivia considered acceding to her request, but she couldn't do it. She stepped forward, and placed a comforting hand on Alex's back, feeling her shaking. "Alexandra," Olivia said very softly. "C'm'ere," she very gently turned Alex and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Oh honey, it's okay. Whatever it is, we'll fix it. You'll be okay. That's it, let it go," she said as Alex began to sob. "There you go," she rubbed her hand up and down her back. "You're okay. I'll help you, Alex, whatever this is."

Alex clung to Olivia, wishing that she could just pull herself together. But the emotion of the day – combined with the memories of her beloved father – were just too much for her to keep in. And Olivia's sweetness made it all the more difficult for her to hide her true feelings.

Olivia, for her part, just held on to Alex. She didn't want to interrogate her. She hoped that Alex trusted her enough to tell her, but she didn't want to bully her into it. "Shh," she whispered into her hair. "Just relax. I'm on your side. Whatever you need."

"You," Alex said, so quietly that Olivia wasn't sure she had heard right. Alex pulled back slightly in the embrace, and looked up.

Olivia smiled affectionately at her. She dug her clean handkerchief out of her pocket, and used it to wipe Alex's face tenderly, all the while keeping her other hand around her waist. "You wanna talk?" she asked softly.

"No. Yes. Oh God, Liv," Alex's voice cracked. She looked into her eyes, seeing compassion and affection – and worry. She took a deep breath. "I've been so happy here. I don't wanna move out," she admitted.

Olivia smiled, and she tried to tamp down her own excitement. "You don't have to move out, Alexandra. I love having you here. It's been wonderful. I never knew I would enjoy having a roommate so much."

"But that's just it...," Alex swallowed nervously. "I don't just want to be roommates," she reached up with a shaking hand and touched Olivia's soft cheek. "I'm in love with you, Olivia. I have been for months." Her heart was beating so loud she was surprised that Olivia hadn't commented on it. She looked away, unable to bear the look in Olivia's eyes if she didn't feel the same way. This was either going to be the very best day in her life – or the very worst.

Alex felt Olivia take her hand. "Look at me, Alex," Olivia said, her voice full of love and tenderness.

Alex brought her eyes up to meet Olivia's. Olivia took her other hand, and cupped Alex's cheek. "I'm in love with you too, Alexandra. _So_ in love." She leant forward and kissed Alex softly, tenderly. The kiss was undemanding, but she tried to put all her love into it, to let Alex know how she really felt about her. "I didn't know love could be like this. I think about you all the time. I always want to be with you. And," she teased, "you can _cook_! What could be more perfect?"

Alex reached out to wipe the tears that Olivia had not realized had fallen. "I love you, Detective Olivia Benson," she said softly. "Kiss me again."

So Olivia did.


	11. Chapter 11

**[SO sorry for the delay, once again. Here, at last, is the final chapter. Some people have said they would like it to continue, so I will probably do a sequel at some point. Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews. ;)]**

Whenever she had fantasized about sleeping with Olivia, Alex had always imagined that her dusky detective would be gentle. She knew that she was a powerful, strong woman, who knew how to take care of herself, and of others. She was also compassionate and kind and had the biggest heart.

The reality of their first bout of lovemaking exceeded all of Alex's expectations – by far. Yes, Olivia was gentle and considerate. Almost unbelievably so. But she was also filled with an unexpected joy, which transmitted itself to Alex. Olivia's ecstasy became her own, and their shared laughter was something that Alex had never before experienced, and certainly not in the context of making love.

As they explored each other's bodies, delighting in each new find, laughing at unexpected, getting-to-know-you blunders, Alex knew that she had found her real soulmate in Olivia Benson.

Olivia, for her part, had never felt as comfortable as she did with Alex. Normally, Olivia was just that little bit reserved in bed. Part of it was that she feared making herself vulnerable, and part of it was fear that her father's genes would come out in her and she wouldn't be able to control herself. So she always keep a small part of herself back. But, with Alex, Olivia realized afterward, she hadn't even thought about any of that. Everything seemed so natural, so incredibly joyous that any hint of caution was forgotten.

Alex was so beautiful – far more than Olivia had ever imagined. Her skin was perfect, and every curve and dip of her body drove Olivia wild.

The lovers offered themselves up freely to each other with a joy that was unparalleled for them both.

They lay together in a post-coital heap, their limbs wrapped loosely around each other. Alex held Olivia as she drifted off to sleep. Alex watched her beautiful lover, and wanted to weep with joy at the trust that Olivia had shown in her, and was continuing to show. For the first time since she had met her, Olivia's face was completely free of anxiety. She slept serenely in Alex's arms, looking younger and happier than Alex had ever known her to look. She wondered if her own face reflected the last few hours in the same way that Olivia's did, and she hoped that it did. She wanted Olivia to be able to see what a difference she had made to her life.

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Alex looked up from her desk, to see a huge bouquet of flowers seemingly making its way to her unassisted. She saw the florist emerge from behind them when she set them on the desk. "Your assistant said to bring these right in," the florist smiled.

Alex smiled back. "They're beautiful."

"And I'm just guessing you know exactly who sent them."

"I have a good idea," Alex tried to stop grinning as she handed over a tip. "Thank you," she was itching to open the card she saw nestling in the blooms, but she wanted to do so in private.

The florist smiled and waved as she left, so Alex seized the card. She saw that it had Olivia's distinct handwriting, so that meant she had gone to the shop herself, rather than placing the order on the phone. Somehow it meant all the more.

_These aren't as beautiful as you are, but then what is? I love you, ADA Alexandra Cabot. So much. O. xxx_

Alex wanted to weep with joy. It was now five weeks since she had gotten together with Olivia, and she had spent most of the time in a fog of happiness. Somehow she was still functioning efficiently in her job – in fact, she was working better than ever. Happiness seemed to make her even more efficient – and her new-found confidence in her private life translated into even better performances in court. Sometimes she would spot Olivia at the back of the court and, rather than becoming nervous about performing in public, she just felt greater strength and resolution, often going on to destroy the opposition with an apposite put-down or sharp barb. She would then glance up and see the unmistakeable look of pride on Olivia's face.

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Olivia returned to the apartment not long before midnight, exhausted and emotional. Alex knew that it would be better for Olivia if she could, somehow, detach herself from the cases. But she also knew that it was her very involvement with the victims that made her so effective in her role. Alex couldn't even imagine what it felt like to be a victim of sexual assault, but she did know that if the worst were ever to happen, she would want to deal with somebody like Olivia.

"I've run the tub," Alex said quietly, after kissing Olivia.

"Will you come with me?" Olivia tried not to sound too desperate.

Alex nodded and, taking her by the hand, led her into the bathroom. She had lit candles, so the light was soft and relaxing. Slowly, she removed Olivia's clothes and guided her into the blissfully warm water. "I got some more of the bubbles you like," Alex said.

Olivia gave her a small, tired smile. "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve the very best," Alex tried not to react to the large bruise she saw on Olivia's shoulder. Olivia would tell her about it when she was ready. She would not say anything now. "Scoot forward a little," she shed her robe and pajamas swiftly, and settled in behind Olivia. She pulled the tired detective back, so that she was leaning into her front. "How's that?" she embraced her very gently from behind.

"Bliss," Olivia said. She captured one hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it softly.

Tenderly, Alex ran a soapy washcloth up and down Olivia's body, soothing her frazzled nerves. Olivia exhaled with pleasure at the loving touch. She rested a hand on Alex's leg. "You make everything better," she said.

Alex continued to minister to her gently, making sure that each action was quiet and soothing.

Olivia turned slightly in the water, her hand reaching up to touch Alex's face. She kissed her, her heart filling with joy at the touch and taste of her. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too, Liv," Alex told her. "There's nothing about you that I don't love."

"I want us to live together," Olivia said.

Alex smiled. "We _do_ live together, honey."

Olivia shook her head. "No. We don't really. You're staying with me. Which is wonderful, but I want us to live together properly. I want this to be _our_ place. Not my place that you're staying at."

"Liv, I don't care that you own the apartment. It's been your place for years."

"And that's the problem," Olivia's voice shook. "You're not my lodger. Or my roommate. All this stuff," she gestured around the room. "It's all mine. I want it to be ours. I want us to go to your old apartment and pick up all your stuff."

"But it won't fit in here," Alex protested. "I left my couch at the apartment. And two bookcases. And God alone knows how many books. And then there's my old desk. We won't fit it in."

"Then we decide who's stuff we're going to throw out," Olivia said stubbornly. "My couch is old and lumpy. If yours will fit in that space, we'll swap it over. And we'll find places for your bookshelves and books, and your desk. And you must have some ornaments, candles, whatever."

"I told Charlie to keep all the ornaments we had. Though I do have one painting I like, of autumn leaves in Central Park, which used to hang in my bedroom."

"Then we'll hang that in _our_ bedroom!" Olivia started to get excited. "I'm serious, Alexandra. I want to feel like it's our apartment. I love it when I come home and you are here. But when you're not here, I want to feel your presence, see the things you like. One day I hope we'll move into a bigger apartment, together. But until that day I need to know that you're truly here, and not just a guest."

Alex tried to keep her voice even. "Okay," she whispered. "We'll go get the stuff."

"This weekend," Olivia insisted.

"We can't, Abbie's coming to stay, remember? She'll be here Friday night, and she'll be staying all of next week."

"I know. She can help us. Munch's ex-brother-in-law has a van we can borrow," Olivia was already working out the logistics. "Abbie can help us carry stuff, and you two can work out where it's all going to go. You're both more into the interior decorating thing than I am."

"On one condition," Alex said. "You have to let me start paying rent. All my debts are gone now, I can easily afford it."

Olivia pondered for a moment. "Not rent," she said slowly. She took Alex's hand and pulled it to her own breast. "But you can pay half the mortgage, once we get your name on the paperwork."

"On no, Liv. This is your apartment. This is too much. Suppose we broke up?"

"Two things," Olivia said very firmly. "First, we will never break up. Never. Second, that's my whole point. I don't want it to be my place. Our place, that's what we need. And that's why you and Abbie are going to decide how we're going to redecorate my bedroom – and turn it into _our_ bedroom." Olivia's face shone with happiness. "This is going to be so great."

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Olivia waved at Abbie as she came through customs at the airport. The two brunettes hugged fiercely.

Abbie pulled back, and held Olivia at arm's length while she looked her over. "Well, Detective Benson," she teased. "You're looking mighty pleased with yourself. I don't suppose that has anything to do with a certain ADA does it?"

Olivia grinned widely. "She's wonderful, Abbie," she told her. "I've never been so happy."

Abbie laughed, as they walked toward the parking lot. "You have good taste, I'll give you that," she said. "I swear I was going to take a pop at her myself when I realized that she had the hots for you. She's got it real bad, Olivia." She looked in Olivia's eyes. "But I see you have too. That's just wonderful. You deserve a little happiness, Detective," Abbie's usually brash voice softened. She was one of the few who knew Olivia's history, and she was genuinely pleased to see that her friend so happy. "Are you sure you don't mind me staying at your apartment? I don't want to get in the way of the love train," she teased.

Olivia swatted her arm. "Of course you must stay. Alex would be pissed if I let you go to a hotel. And," she winked, "the guest room is empty once again, now that we're sharing."

Olivia heaved Abbie's case into the trunk of the car. "What have you got in there? A dead body?" she laughed. "I thought you were only coming for a week!"

Abbie feigned hurt. "Hey, a girl has to look nice. And," she took a deep breath, "if I'm going to persuade Branch that he needs me back, I've got to look the part. No, don't worry, not SVU. But I heard there's an opening coming up in homicide, and that would suit me better. At least the victims are dead. I couldn't take much more of SVU, I don't know how you and Alex do it."

Olivia buckled into her seat. "So what happened to Washington, huh?" she asked.

Abbie looked out of the window. "It's not really right for me. For a bunch of reasons," she tried to be vague.

"Which are?" Olivia pressed.

"God, you're such a detective!" Abbie laughed despite herself. "Mainly personal, if I'm honest. I didn't tell you, but I'd been seeing one of the DA's investigators."

"Was it serious?"

Abbie nodded, and looked away as she tried to gather herself. "We were going to get married. Have kids. The whole nine yards."

Olivia kept quiet, and looked ahead as she drove.

"We broke up. Nearly six months ago," Abbie realized that Olivia was the only person she had told. "And I realized that I was alone in a city where I didn't really know anybody. We tried to be civilized when we saw each other at work, but it was getting too difficult. It doesn't help that the DA's a prick too. And so I've decided. I'm going to cut my losses. As long as I can get a job back here, I'm moving back."

Olivia reached out and touched her hand softly. "You have lots of friends here, Abbie," she said. "And you'll make new ones. Alex only met you a few times, and she loves you already."

Abbie swallowed and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"It was rough, huh?" Olivia said.

"She cheated on me. I had no idea. None at all. Until I came home early when I got sick one day. God that was a bad day. I spent most of the night with my head in the toilet, knowing that my relationship was in the toilet too. I threw her out the next day."

"Good," Olivia said vehemently. "You deserve the best Abigail. And you'll find it."

"Like you did?"

"Just like I did," Olivia agreed.

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Alex knocked on the door of her former apartment, realizing as she did so that she was experiencing none of the negative emotions that she used to feel when she was standing here. Before, she was in a pit of despair, mourning her father, mourning her relationship, mourning her previous life. But now she had found unbelievable happiness with Olivia, and the only reason she was here was because Olivia had insisted that she wanted her to be even more a part of her life than she already was.

Alex glanced over at Olivia in the few seconds before the door was answered. God, she was beautiful. She was dressed in old jeans, her face free of make-up apart from a little lip gloss. And she was wearing her old, battered leather jacket. Alex knew that jacket had seen better days, but still, Olivia looked incredibly hot in it.

"Stop drooling, Cabot," Abbie remarked drily, as she saw the expression on Alex's face.

Alex opened her mouth to protest, but just as she was about to speak, the door opened.

Charlie smiled, and pulled Alex into a warm hug. When she eventually released her, she eyed her carefully. "You look great, Alex. Olivia is clearly very good for you."

Alex smiled, gratefully. Even though she and Charlie had broken up, they had still somehow managed to maintain their friendship, even though Alex had pulled away from her when she was at her lowest ebb. "I'm very lucky," she smiled.

Charlie reached to embrace Olivia which, for some reason, didn't feel the slightest bit weird. Olivia had always imagined that meeting a girlfriend's ex would be awkward beyond belief, but it just wasn't like that at all. She decided that that was because of her complete confidence in her relationship with Alex – she knew nothing could threaten it. And she knew that Alex still loved Charlie, but only as a friend.

Alex smiled to herself when she saw the expression on Abbie's face as she held out her hand to shake Charlie's. She knew that expression. It was the one that Abbie had used when she had hoped to seduce Alex, before she realized that she had already fallen for Olivia. Alex looked over at Charlie and nudged Olivia surreptitiously.

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"Well, that should do it, what do you think, Cabot?" Abbie said with satisfaction, as she nudged the couch in place.

"I think it's great, but I need to get Olivia's approval," Alex said.

"No you don't," Olivia called from the kitchen. "It's your decision. I told you, you and Abbie are in charge today."

Abbie looked up, and saw Olivia taking something out of the oven. "Oh please God, tell me that that doesn't mean you are in charge of the cooking. You're a fabulous detective, Olivia, but believe me, the kitchen is not your friend."

Olivia laughed. "It's okay, Carmichael," she said. "You're quite safe. I'm just heating up the quiche that Alex baked earlier. I know how to reheat. It's the cooking part that baffles me."

"At least now you don't have to get take-out every night," Abbie sniggered. "Seems to me, Olivia, that Cabot has saved you from being buried under a pile of pizza boxes and Chinese cartons. I think she came along at just the right time."

Olivia looked over at Alex. Alex's cheeks were pink from the exertion of moving furniture. Her hair was tied up in a loose bun, and she was dressed in a pair of old, torn jeans. Her eyes were shining with humor – and happiness. To Olivia, she had never looked more beautiful. "Yeah," Olivia agreed, her voice cracking. She went up to Alex and took her in her arms, kissing her very softly. "I'd say she came along at exactly the right time."

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"That was Charlie," Alex hung up the phone that evening. "She says she's found my copy of Of Mice and Men. She's coming over tomorrow afternoon to return it."

"She could have mailed it," Olivia was surprised.

"She could," Alex smiled. "But then she wouldn't have seen Abbie. So," Alex grinned wickedly at Abbie. "Where will you take her on your first date?"


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